Revenge of the Invader
by Doodlebug QT
Summary: Kauai is great. Not just because it's infested with 626 cool alien experiments, but because Dib's got a big crush on the girl next door. However someone's returned to get Dib with revenge in mind.
1. Chapter 1 Friends

**This is a crossover of Invader Zim and Lilo and Stitch. It takes place a few days after Policy of Truth by Maran Zelde. I love that story. Somehow Dib and Lilo just seem meant for each other. They both like monsters, they're both a little strange, and they both have alien adversaries they have to deal with.**

**Anyways, here's my second attempt at a fanfiction. I hope you like it everyone. :)**

Chapter 1  
Friends

Dib woke that morning feeling fantastic. It'd been a long time since he'd felt like that. His old home in Michigan never made him fell like a million bucks the first minute he opened his eyes but here in Hawaii it felt like that all the time. He opened the window to let in some clean air and savored in the fresh scent of a tropical forest. He was quickly starting to like this place a lot more than his old home.

Starting out the window his eye caught on a green beach house and looming over the tiny structure, like a great red mountain with wings, was an alien spaceship. Normally he would've gone crazy by the sight of it and it was only from mere habit that he reached for his camera. He caught himself quickly and drew back.

"Just relax," he said to himself, "it's completely normal for an alien spacecraft to be parked by my neighbor's house. As well as 626 illegal experiments designed to create countless forms of destruction on civilization to roam free here on the island." It wasn't as hard getting use to this place as he thought is would be. And the creatures here weren't all bad as he'd figured. In reality the good majority were perfectly harmless and very useful in some cases.

His thoughts were at once interrupted at the sight of a thirteen-year old girl emerging from the front door of the beach house. Dib grinned from ear to ear at the sight of Lilo. Normally he wouldn't even look twice at the girl with the abnormal blue creature traipsing behind her. But as it was he didn't even notice Stitch toady.

The little Hawaiian girl was dressed in a sleeveless white shirt with a grass skirt and crown. She seemed to have no need for shoes most of the time since he often caught her going barefoot through the whole town and today was no exception. He admired her for the autonomy but personally he wouldn't be able to share in her absence of footwear. Growing up in a city where it was normal to find whole streets littered with broken glass and nails had made him conscientious to wear his sneakers even in his own house.

He watched her for a moment before realizing suddenly that she was coming this way; AND HE WAS STILL IN HIS PAJAMAS!

Quicker than he'd moved him his life, he threw off his vampire donut jamies as if they were filled with hotdog monsters, and squeezed into a pair of jeans and sneakers. He grabbed his coat as he was running out and threw it over his shoulders. Despite the constant heat of the island, he still insisted on wearing it wherever he went out. There was just so much stuff he needed and the coat had plenty of pockets to let him store it all without having to loaf around a backpack.

His father was in the kitchen that morning, buttering himself some toast for breakfast. Without so much as stopping, Dib rushed through, saying over his shoulder, "I'll be out for the whole day, dad. Don't wait up for me. I'll see you later." And with that, he was out the door the next second.

He caught Lilo just as she was about to walk up the drive. She looked surprised for some reason to see him. Maybe it was his eagerness that caught her off guard. He'd once read somewhere in a magazine that guys ought to be more laid-back and cool when it came to impressing the ladies; they responded better to that for some reason.

His demeanor quickly deflated a bit, even though he was jumping up like a lost puppy on the inside.

"Oh hi, Lilo." He said as if them meeting on the cement of his driveway was completely coincidental. "How's it going? I was just going to go for a walk today. Funny seeing you here."

For some reason her face split into a comical smile. "I though you would still be in bed since it is Saturday today and it's barely past eight. Looks like I sort of caught you in the process of getting dressed."

"Huh." She pointed down to his shirt when he didn't understand at first. With horror, Dib realized he completely forgot about his nightshirt. The fanged flying snacks were totally visible to her as well as Stitch who giggled at the sight of them. Dib's face burned crimson.

"We can wait here if you want to change quickly." He didn't have to think twice before turning and trotting back in the house where his dad was munching happily on his meal.

"Ah, son, back so soon? I was going to inform you that you still had your pajama top on but you were already out the door before I could tell you."

"Oh thanks dad." He said glumly.

"Hey, Dib, cute jamies today." Gaz cooed sarcastically as he walked by her room.

Like she's one to talk with those teddy bear footies he still caught her wearing every now and then. Dib changed quickly and strode back out the house with his usual blue smiley face t-shirt.

"Much better." Lilo beamed as Stitch nodded behind her. "And you shouldn't be too embarrassed. I still wear my mummy éclair nightgown every so often.

Dib cheered a bit at the comment. "You like the Deliciously Sweet Monster Snacks?"

"Sure. We use to love watching their commercials before they got canceled. Which reminds me…" She reached into the shoulder back she had with her and withdrew a DVD case that she handed to Dib. "Here's that movie we were talking about yesterday. Revenge of the Alien's Revenge."

"Oh cool I've really been dying to see this."

"Yeah, saw it in theater." Stitch announced wanting to be part of the conversation as well.

"Was it good?"

"David got scared."

"Yeah well I hope you like it." She turned to leave. "See you later."

"Where are you going?" Dib asked just a little hurt that she was leaving so soon.

"Hula practice. We've got a performance next Saturday. Would you like to come?"

"To practice?"

"To the performance. But you can come to practice if you want." She added sensing his disappointment at being left out.

"Thanks, I'd love to come."

* * *

Hula practice turned out not to be as exciting as Dib expected. He ended up sitting boredly on the halua floor with Stitch who was busy picking his nose with his tongue. It was a nice enough room for how small it was, which was about the size of one of the high school classes in Detroit. The floor was hard wood, which had a good mahogany smell to it. Off to one of the far corners were toys like dollhouses and stuffed animals crammed together for the younger hula groups. Off to a different corner were tables and chairs stacked together with one another used only for performances like the one next Saturday. Dib wondered irrelevantly which chair he would end up sitting on—probably that broken one on the bottom right there.

His eyes trailed up to the stage as the girls began dancing again. He watched Lilo as she twirled with the other girls. Somehow she seemed like the only full native Hawaiian among them and she was easy to distinguish among the separate skin and hair colors the other girls had. Gosh her face was pretty when she was dancing. She always looked pretty actually, but right there in particular, swaying back and forth as gracefully as a wave with her grass skirt swishing with her movements. The director only stopped them twice during the session; once when a girl tripped over her skirt and another time when Mertyl's cell phone rang and she had to run off stage and answer it then turn it off so it couldn't interrupt again. It was an okay practice but to Dib, it could have ended a lot sooner. He made a mental note not to attend another one again.

Lilo met both her friends out side of the studio once she'd finished dressing. It was a blue sundress with an orchid pattern today, similar to the red one Dib had seen her in the day before. For only ten o-clock it was pretty warm out. Lilo was the first to say something about it.

"It's pretty hot. Why don't we get some ice cream at the parlor?"

"That sounds really good," groaned Dib who was already sweating in his black coat.

They walked in the ice cream shop and were immediately embraced by the comfort of cool air. Dib's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw two insanely weird creatures. One sat on the cash register swinging its legs back and forth like some excited little kid. And every now and then a customer would come up and ask something like, "two strawberry dips—half cal." To this the employee behind the counter would make only one of the orders and hold it up the creature. This was the really freaky part; a strange horn would unroll from the top of his head and hang over the customer's order beaming out a bright ray of light. The next minute another ice cream would matierialize out of the original.

The other little monster seemed to be made entirely of ice and was probably the whole reason why the shop was keeping so cool.

"Aloha, guys. How's it going?" Lilo chanted happily to the first monster. It grabbed both its feet and bounced happily on its tail, grinning from ear to ear in response. The other one just waved a satisfying breath of cool air to her.

"Hey Stitch! Hi Lilo! What'll it be today?" the manager said.

"We've got a friend today." She pushed Dib forward to become closer to the cash register alien. "He wanted to see Slushy and Dupe. We're going to show him some other friends of ours today."

"Aloha! So you're new here I bet?"

"Yeah. We just move in on Tuesday."

"Well any friend of Lilo and Stitch's is a friend of mine. I owe them a lot with the _great_ help they've brought me. Thanks to them I don't have to spend so much keeping my ice cream from melting in the heat."

That caught Dib a little off guard. Lilo and Stitch were the ones who'd helped this guy simply by introducing him to the experiments. Did they do that for everyone in this town or was it just with a few people?

"So what'll it be? No charge since you've got a friend today."

"Stitch want coconut chocolate."

"Pistachio if they've got it."

"Bunny tracks sound good for me today, Slushy."

"Coming right up." The manager chirped happily.

They all enjoyed their ice cream in the parlor while Dib took the moment to take his notebook out and begin jotting whatever he could about the two experiments. Lilo chatted to him as he did so, listing off all the things they could do that day.

"Have you ever been surfing before, Dib?"

"Oh no. I don't think I could anyways. I'm afraid of getting chomped by sharks if I go in the ocean."

"Alright we can do something else. I can show you more experiments if you'd like."

"Yes. That'd be great."

* * *

They walked down town with Lilo and occasionally Stitch pointing out all the colorful creatures and waving to them or stopping every now and then to chat with one or a few. Dib could hardly keep track of the dozens he'd saw that day. His head seemed to be constantly spinning around these days with the total weirdness of this place. For a human girl, Lilo was probably cooler around these multicolored monsters than she was with regular people. Which must've been a perk that came with growing up with these things and he suspected that if he'd also done the same, he would've been a lot more composed with it all.

Sometime that day they ended up on the beach just trying to catch their breath under a looming palm tree. They sat in silence together watching the hypnotic waves crash against the sand one after another. They talked every now and then about the experiments, about monster movies, and about their hobbies. And then suddenly their conversation turned to hula. Dib didn't know how it happened, but one minute he was telling Lilo it seemed kind of loose to him. And the next thing he realized she was standing up bringing him with her.

"That's just because you don't know how to do it. Here I'll show you. Okay hands on your hips now follow my lead." From out of nowhere Stitch pulled out a ukulele and began strumming a little tune from which Lilo danced to enthusiastically. And just like that Dib was learning how to hula. At first it felt awkward with Stitch sitting there watching both of them as an audience and strumming gleefully on his instrument, but gradually the boy began to loosen up.

"There see you've got it." Lilo chirped after a while.

A smile spread across his face when he realized just how much _fun_ it really was. Slowly his eyes trailed up to look at her face and how whimsical she seemed to sway back and forth in rhythm with the music.

After fifteen minutes of this they both sat down on the ground to catch their breath. "That was fun! You should sign up for lessons. They've got a boys group on Thursdays."

"That's okay. It's fun and all but I'm not sure I really want to join a team."

Lilo sighed but didn't look overly disappointed. "I thought so. Most guys these days think it's more of a girl thing anyways."

"That's sort of my feelings about it—but it's cool when you do it."

"Thanks. I've been taking classes since—Oh hi, Keoni!" Lilo's vision stared far through Dib and her mood brightened by a hundred times (if it was possible for the naturally cheery girl). Dib turned to stare at the newcomer feeling a tad bit annoyed at the interruption. His memory clicked as he recognized the older boy they'd seen at the airport a few days ago. Lilo had said that his father was a werewolf now that he remembered.

If that were true (and considering all he'd seen in the past week, he had no reason to disbelieve Lilo) then that made this boy a possible threat. One he would have to watch _extra_ carefully. Lilo didn't seem to think that at all. In fact she seemed about as okay with him being related to a werewolf as well as about a whole island full of monster alien experiments.

Keoni walked right up to them, smiling coolly like some bravado swimsuit model on a Rolling Star's magazine. Dib couldn't look past the evident good looks the older boy seemed to emanate by the tons. He hardly knew this boy yet and he was hoping dearly that he would end up disliking him.

Lilo ran up to him very nearly swooning. It was understandable that she liked this boy. It wasn't so clear if he shared the same feelings for her.

Dib found a much different reaction in Stitch. He didn't react as warmly to the Keoni's appearance as the girl did and even mimed a barfing gesture as the boy approached.

Seeing the reaction that Keoni had on Lilo and then Stitch, Dib decided suddenly that his feelings resembled something more like Stitch's. In fact he was quite certain that he did not like Keoni at all.

Lilo spoke to the elder boy for a moment before his eye caught on Dib and she was dragging him over to introduce them properly. When they reached the two under the palm, Keoni's face remained friendly as he pinned Dib with his uncomfortably hansom eyes. In the meantime, however, his arm swung up to rest on Lilo's shoulders in a clear gesture to Dib that he was staking _his_ claim and the younger boy was to cross nowhere near the line he'd made.

Talk about possessive! Dib wanted to say aloud but decided against it with Lilo standing right there.

Now there was no denying it. He despised Keoni!

"So you're new here huh?"

Why doesn't he just state the obvious for all he's good for? Dib thought heatedly.

"Yeah we just got here on Tuesday. I saw you at the airport on Wednesday actually. Lilo and Stitch showed me around."

"Oh, guess I didn't see you."

"Don't see how you could've missed me since Lilo already introduced us there." All bronze and beauty but no brains apparently. Typical!

"Gee. Sorry about that, cuz. I guess I wasn't paying much attention. It's pretty easy to get distracted with Lilo around wouldn't you say?"

Dib glared. He knew there was a double meaning to that statement and as soon as he figured it out he'd snap back with a witty remark of his own.

In the meantime he settled with the remark of, "I wouldn't know. It's pretty hard to distract me from the cause at hand. Though I completely sympathize with you're A.D.D, man."

Keoni's smile seemed to vanish like a cheap magic trick. Stitch snickered behind Dib and Lilo looked as if she'd just caught the other teen spitting on a puppy. Her expression wavered slightly when Keoni's hand seemed to tighten around her shoulder as he regained himself with a remark of his own.

"So your dad is Doctor Membrane right?"

Dib tensed. "Yeah. So what?"

"I was just wondering how you can even walk strait with such exposure to a loon like him. Didn't he have to relocate when some of his workers started getting webbed feet of their own. Or haven't you been able to get many glances at his feet lately?"

Now this had just gotten personal!

"I don't know. I don't dig around in top-secret dirt all that much. But your dad would know I bet. Not about anything remotely top-secret but I'm sure for a monster mutt he loves to dig a few good holes now and then."

Keoni's hand released Lilo and the two boys leaned in closer to one another eying each other with a challenge as if to say, "I dare you to hit me first." The move was a lot more impressive on Keoni's part since he was nearly a whole head taller than Dib who looked like a pale little four-eyed shrimp compared to the beefy, lean, and tan teenager.

Both Stitch and Lilo smelt the danger arising from the conflict of the two boys and dove in between to separate them before things could get violent. It wouldn't be much of a fight anyways. Next to Keoni's guns of steel, Dib was little more than a pitiful nerd.

"Hey guys lets just calm down." Lilo said placing a restraining hand on each of their shoulders. "I didn't introduce you guys to fight. Now shake hands and be nice."

They both looked first at Lilo then back at one another. Keoni was the first to give in. Smiling that stupidly cool grin, he held out his hand for a shake. "Sorry cousin. Guess I got a little outta line. Still no harm done."

Dib didn't want to touch that stupid dirty hand, but the probing look Lilo threw at him made him reach down and shake grudgingly. "Yeah no harm done I guess."

"Great we're all friends again." Lilo chirped clapping her hand once and looking first from the angry glower on Dib to the cool smirk on Keoni.

"Ih, all friends." Stitch said coming to Lilo's rescue. When no one answered him he chanced the subject. "Time for lunch."

"Oh yeah I almost forgot. Nani has to work so Pleakley wanted us to invite you and your sister, Dib. You can come too Keoni."

"Thanks Lilo." He said taking her hand and squeezing it gently. "But I think your boyfriend would blow a fuse if I did."

"He's not—"

"I'm not her boyfriend. And I have no say in who Lilo invites to lunch with her."

"Then I'd love to come." Dib's fists clenched at those words. "But I just remembered that my dad is having some friends over for dinner. They have some things in common you know."

_Which one'll be the main course_? Dib wanted to say. In reality though, his words were, "Well how nice. Have fun in the moonlight. It should be a full moon tonight so they should have a ball."

"We often do." Keoni said turning from the trio. "See ya, Lilo."

"Bye Keoni!"

"And Keoni." Some how Dib couldn't resist having the last word.

"Yeah, cousin?"

"Just thought I should let you know that I'm not your cousin."

Keoni didn't retort to that, only shrugged and continued to smirk.

The moment he was out of earshot, Lilo rounded on Dib. "What is wrong with you? Why did you have to go off and start picking a fight?"

"Look I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. But I won't put up with his behavior."

"_Behavior_? You were the one who started it!"

"I wasn't, Lilo." Dib said matter-of-factly. "He started the moment he staked his claim on you like you were _his_ property."

"He didn't say anything of the kind."

"I've read Werewolf Talk 101, Lilo. The simple fact that he put his arm around you and made eye contact specifically to _me_ was body language for me to back off of _his_ territory."

"That's not—"

"Is true, Lilo." Stitch announced. "Keoni body language say all."

Lilo was silent for a moment unsure what she ought to feel besides totally creeped. "So he was—"

"Telling me to back off? Yeah that's what he was doing. Looks like he shares similar feelings for you. Congratulations."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"You like him of course. It's totally obvious."

"Well it can't be that obvious because my feelings may have changed for him in the last five seconds."

Stitch looked curiously at her. "Lilo."

"If what you both just told me is true then I may have just reconsidered him as a friend."

Dib looked at her a bit more relaxed now with her new statement. "Lilo I—"

She turned from him, walking down the beach. "Let's go see what for lunch."

* * *

**Oooo. Keoni has a dark side. I loved the whole conflict between the two boys like they were fighting over Lilo. So angst. **

**I really don't know what city Dib and his ohana are from, so I just followed Maran's example and made them all from Detroit. I plan to bring Zim along with GIR in next chapter.**

**I've been working on this story for a long time and have finally posted it now. I hate reading good stories that leave you hanging right in the middle of things. Coarse I'll need feedback from everyone to decide whether this story is any good. So please review and tell me what you think. **


	2. Chapter 2 Tracking

Chapter 2  
Tracking

Zim was able to locate Dib by using the tracking device he'd inserted under his skin the night before he left for good. The occasion had been quite comical. The Irkim smiled remembering how Dib had screamed during the night after the prob droid dug deep under the tender folds of human flesh and finally settled in between bone and muscle.

According to the scanner the filthy human pig baby should've been on some island in the South Pacific Ocean. Zim squirmed in his seat at the information. Water wasn't good for his insect-like skin but so long as he absorbed enough glue he wouldn't shrivel up. Still the prospect of being around so much at once time made him nervous.

"Water or not," Zim announced making his robot GIR jump in surprise. "I will dispose of the horrid human filth who dared to challenge the great and mighty ZIM!"

"I want to boogie when we see him." GIR squealed popping up next to his master.

"No, GIR, we don't boogie with our enemies."

"Then we should hula! Aloha in Hawaii!"

"What in the great Irkm is hu-la?"

"It's this." GIR's head opened and he reached inside and produced a bunch of strands of straw, which he tired around his waist like some sort of dress. Then he started flailing his arms about and wiggling his hips like he was trying to dislocate them or something.

After a while of this he stopped abruptly and look at Zim, waiting for his response with his head cocked stupidly to the side. "All done!"

Zim looked at him. "Hula is just dancing stupid?"

"Yeah. It's sooooooooooooooooooo fun." The robot grinned brightly with its tong handing out.

"O-kay." Zim said still not exactly understanding but going with it if it meant his robot would quit bothering him. "Well continue with your hu-la and we'll arrive soon."

"Yay! I'm gunna eat a coconut and wear it on my head."

"Yes, yes eat your coconut and behave already."

"Kay!" and with that the robot was finally quiet.

Zim looked through the windshield relishing in the sweet fact that soon he will wreak havoc on the one human whom he despised more than any other creature in the galaxy. There came a flashing light on his computer indicating that Dib was precisely two miles and forty feet away. "You just better watch it, Dib, cause' I'm coming for you and this time it'll be me who's victorious! And you will rue the day you ever dared to challenge the mighty ZIM! Mwa HA HA HA HA HA HA—GIR GET OFF MY HEAD!"

The little robot had bee previously snoozing on the Irken's bulbous head but suddenly it jumped and pointed out the window. "LOOK! A CRAB MONSTER!"

"There's no cra—AAAAAAH!" Just like GIR had said there was a crab monster after all and it had a hold on Zim's ship.

"Filthy beast of shell and eyes! Get your claws off my ship!" Zim's guns appeared out of nowhere and blasted a nasty hole through the largest of the monster's pinchers. It roared and reeled away from Zim's ship releasing it for good.

Quicker than anything, the ship soared back into the sky where it hovered safely over the island. Zim took the moment to relax before he spoke.

"Great moons of Wefoof! What was that thing!"

"It was a giant crab monster." GIR said in a voice that said "duh".

"It would appear that the entire island must be infested by hundreds of those HORRID creatures."

"What if Dib got eated?"

"If he is I WILL WREAK havoc on ALL the beasts for destroying him."

"But if he's already dead why does it matter?"

"BECAUSE GIR! I wanted to do it!" The little robot shrank away at the outburst. "And in any case the tracker indicates that he'd still alive so he couldn't be dead." Zim paused a moment to mull something over. Then his face split into a devious grin and he shouted, "I've got it! It seems that crab was only after the ship. So we'll leave out on foot in the morning and disguise it as a tree in the forest."

"Can it be a piggy?"

"No, GIR, a piggy is not a tree."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"

"No!"

"Please! Please! Please! Pretty please! With oranges and tacos on top!"

"No!"

"!"

"ALRIGHT! If it will SHUT you up!"

"YAY! YAY! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Zim chose a spot where a cardboard pig was already propped up and lowered the ship gently behind it. Looking at it from the other side, Zim decided it still didn't look right, so while GIR wasn't looking he dumped a bunch of leaves and palm branches on top of it. It wasn't perfect but at least people could walk by without noticing it too easily.

In his human disguise he took GIR's dog collar and lead him down the street trying to appear as "_normal_" as he could.

Soon after, he began to notice some very strange things (well strange in Earth terms). Wherever he looked, there were odd colorful creatures similar to the ones often found in space but which had no purpose with being on earth whatsoever. For an odd reason these things gave him an off feeling and he dodged between some buildings to find some privacy as he searched for Dib's signal.

He was close. Oh so very close that he could almost taste him (though not really cause that would be gross). Only a mile to go and he would have the big-headed bald monkey at his mercy. For the moment, however, he needed to get out of this ally. One of those creature thingies was staring at him from the inside of a garbage can and it was really creeping him out. What was worse was that it was attracting GIR.

"Let's go." Zim said pulling GIR's collar and nearly choking him away.

"But it's so cute." Squealed the robot practically cooing over the _thing_.

Zim dragged the robot through the town so it looked like a little green kid was pulling his stuffed limp green dog though the dirt. There seemed to already be so much weird stuff that no one even really noticed the two. In fact he was probably one of the more normal looking people on the whole island that no one even looked twice at him.

The sun was down by the time he finally caught up with Dib who was already with someone; a girl. Were the two of them friends? Zim couldn't remember Dib having many friends or really any at all. Now that he thought about it, he'd never even seen him sit with anyone but his sister in the cafeteria at skool. His weirdness and insistent ramblings that Zim was an alien had pushed people away in timid anxiety and they tended to avoid him as best they could. He could never remember people every being _happy_ to see him. But _she_ was.

This girl looked like she was the one leading him around. At her side was a little blue dog with large ears and a nose that looked like a koala's. Zim had a good feeling that the dog was part of the dozens of strange creatures he'd seen all over the island today but he couldn't be sure. Compared to the others, it looked exceptionally normal. More so even than GIR who's stitching of his green and black dog costume didn't appear entirely inconspicuous.

Zim wondered when a good time to strike would be. He wanted to catch Dib off guard and alone if he could help it. He would have a better chance of destroying him if he was all alone this time. So he decided to wait and follow the three as best he could.

_How ironic_, he wanted to say, _that the spy is being spied on_. He followed them keeping close and out of sight as best he could stay. From what he heard from their conversation, the girl's name was Lilo and the dog creature thing was Stitch. The girl seemed awfully cheery, waving to a strange animal she saw every now and then and skipping playfully down the street. The dog reacted in a similar manner though not as much as the Lilo human was.

Dib's face was a content smile, watching the two and talking with them as though they'd always been friends. Then he said something that got Zim's full attention.

"You know, Lilo, you've really got this place wired, don't you?"

"Well you know it's really only the expirements. We helped find the right place for most of them. the one place where they all belonged."

"Yeah, I mean that's exactly what I'm saying. And it's just… weird. I've always pictured aliens to be little evil green guys whose only goal is to take over the world."

"That's just because you had a bad experience with Zim. Not all aliens are like him."

Wait! This girl knew about Zim. But of course Dib would tell her about him; the bigheaded inferior twerp would tell everyone about aliens if they didn't all look at him like he was completely out of his mind. But this girl _did_ believe him. And she already knew about aliens.

"It's kind of stereotypical I know, but that's how I always saw them as. I never imagined them to actually help people. Seeing them live together in such harmony with one another as well as humans just seems… I don't want to sound cliché but… paradise."

Lilo chuckled shyly, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "Well it is Hawaii. Part of it lies within the land it self."

"Yeah but you have a part in it too, you know—you and Stitch."

"We just helped them find where they belonged. We didn't do anything that extraordinary."

"Think about it, Lilo. If it weren't for you two none of these creatures would be where they are now. Most would probably be destroyed by now or be wreaking havoc on the world. In a way you both helped save a lot of lives."

Lilo's cheeks flushed at the announcement and she turned from him to hide her shy smile. When she didn't say anything Dib continued.

"A lot of them really look up to you. And the ones who do that even cause a good number of the locals to as well. It's almost like you're a princess."

Zim's antennae perked at the statement. Royalty was rare in the galaxy these days. Most of it was run by dictatorships, republics, and elected leaders; not monarchies. And if the girl had that much influence she might turn out to be useful for the planet's domination. Plus Dib seemed to like this female human, which could be used against him in the later future if things didn't turn out the way he'd planned.

"That's ridiculous!" Lilo burst out. "You shouldn't say stuff like that. I don't want to be hailed like some master of these people. And I don't want them to feel like they owe me or something. I just did what was right and that was enough."

Dib said nothing more about the subject after that. However, the issue might've been dropped but Zim was still thinking about it.

_Princess, experiments, destroyed, aliens. What had Dib gotten involved with here_?

One place where they all belonged? What did that even mean.

He'd have to pay close attention if he wanted to catch up on what's been happening. Not only would he have to follow Dib, but also it would be helpful to watch this girl thing and her so called dog.

Somehow he could smell wads of power gathered on this rock of an island known as Hawaii.


	3. Chapter 3 Watcher in the Night

Chapter 3  
Watcher in the Night

"Angel!" Stitch cried suddenly, making Dib and Lilo jump. The little blue experiment waved enthusiastically when he caught sight of a slender pink experiment that was a female replica to Stitch. Her antennae arched gracefully over her head, giving the illusion of hair. Stitch ran up to her smiling jubilantly. He liked this alien a lot and Dib could understand why. Even though he wasn't one to judge on alien beauty he could see that this cousin—Angel—was attractive.

Stitch took the pink creature's claw-like hand and lead her over to introduce her to Dib. "Angel, Dib. Dib, Angel." Dib held his hand out to Angel and she shook it with hers.

"Quaga miga ni." Angel said. Dib stared blankly, unsure what she meant exactly.

Thankfully though Stitch translated. "Angel like size of your head."

Unconsciously Dib's hands came up to grasp the size of it. "Oh—um—thanks… I guess. People are always saying it's really big."

"Minea." She uttered.

"Exactly." Stitch beamed before Angel took his hand and led him away. Dib sighed. "I guess some things never change no matter where you move to in the world."

Lilo smiled sympathetically at him before turning back to the two aliens. "They are so cute together." Lilo sighed as they went away.

"Are they dating?"

"Yes, I suppose you could say that."

"What does she do? What her power?"

"Oh she's a singer."

Dib noted her nice voice when she spoke to him but a singer? "Is that it?"

"Well her song changes the experiments who've turned good back to bad. If you play it backwards though it changes them back to good."

"What? Has she ever sung to Stitch?"

"Oh yes. But don't worry. Angel is experiment 624."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"A lot actually. Angel's song only works on the experiments made _before_ her, not after. Jumba had all information on the experiments prior to when he made Angel so he simply downloaded creature's brain functions to her so that they weren't immune to her song. However Stitch and Reuben were both made later on. That's why it's perfectly safe for him."

"Oh I get it now—I think." They watched the two of them frolic in the moonlight on the beach for a while. The two of them looked so perfect together as they chased each other playfully on the sand.

"Aw it's so cute. They looooooooooove each other." The two humans jumped suddenly when they heard the squeaky voice behind them. They spun searching for the newcomer but all there was was a rustle of leaves and nothing else. Maybe it was Dib's imagination but that squeal sounded an awful lot like GIR.

Could it—no. Zim couldn't be here on Kauai. How could he have found him if he didn't even know his family had moved in the first place. Still there was a possibility that Dib hadn't seen him with all the weirdness cluttered around this place.

"We'd better get going." Lilo announced checking her watch. "It's past seven and Nani will be worried."

They all walked the half mile back home where they said goodbye to Dib at his place and headed on over to the blue beach house.

Dib watched from his bedroom window as they did, wanting to make sure they arrived safely. He'd been on edge for the whole trip, checking and rechecking his surroundings over and over again like the paranoid freak he was when he still lived in Michigan. Lilo had to tell him more than once to lighten up. He tried just to keep her from thinking what a total freak he was but it proved to be harder than he'd thought. He kept thinking Zim would pop out any moment with a laser gun ambush.

They arrived safely soon enough and disappeared behind the red door. And yet Dib's anxiety never subsided. Zim had a nasty way of sneaking up on people and infiltration the best of defenses. More than once he wished that he knew precisely where Zim was and what he was doing. Dib could almost imagine the heinous plans he was concocting within the green little head of his. Waiting here for something to happen was agony. And if anything was going to happen it felt too unlikely that it would be on the world news. People were too stupid to know what should be reported. They got a whole news channel and SWAT team just to get a little girl's foot out of a hole one time right when an evil alien invader was right in front of them!

He wished he could just find Zim and be done with him once and for all. But things could never be that easy no matter how hard he wished.

"OF COURSE!" Zim said as he dragged a bawling GIR down the street who was crying because he wanted to stay and watch the blue and pink puppies play together. Zim's mind was only partly on the wining green dog, the rest of it however was concentrated on his discovery. "This is the island filled with illegal genetic weapons, GIR." It had been all over the Galactic News channels a few years ago when the infamous Dr. Jumba Jookiba was arrested after his 626th mutated monster. The blue creature had been running on a rampage all through Turo causing all sorts of ruckus and chaos. If it weren't for that thing the space police might've never caught the scientist. The creature was banished for his crimes on some distant planet but the television never said which one it was: classified information that thousands of enemies of the Galactic Federation would kill to get a hold of.

And then a year later there had been a rumor running around that more experiments had escaped but were being rounded up again. That was extremely classified information. No one besides the Galactic Council knew where the experiments were being kept. And if asked, none of the council members would say a word of it. Mainly because they couldn't even if they wanted or tried to. All the members had a chip inside of them that allowed them entrance into the council chamber and if they were caught ever telling tales outside of the circle of trust, the chip was suppose to release a venom that would attack their voice box and their nercouse system before they could say anything. After that, the traitor would be hospitalized for three to seven days (depending on their species) and then banished permanently from the council. No one would ever know a thing about the happenings of the secret government.

But now Zim knew and so would his almighty Tallest. This place was a gold mine of super genetic weapons just waiting to be put to good use. Though the girl thing had said something about finding their one true place—whatever that meant.

"GIR!" Zim said pulling harder on his dog collar. "I have finally figured out why the Tallest have sent me! They were wise to entrust this mission on none other than the best! This place is the hottest spot for the universes most deadliest, powerful, almighty, super weapons—AND THEY WILL ALL BE ZIM'S! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH—eh?" He stopped when he spotted three small earth children huddled closely together under a buss sign and staring at him like a total maniac had fallen from the sky in a zombie bunny suit. He tried to straiten himself and look presentably somewhat normal again. "Um… I mean… I missed my buss."

The children screamed and ran from him faster than if he would suddenly grow fangs and eat their legs.

_Well good riddance_! He thought. They had reason to fear him! When he had conquered this world they would all be spending the nights on buss benches.

"All the cute piggies are going to be yours?" GIR asked his big green head tilted to the side with his tongue lolling out stupidly.

"Yes, GIR! Mine." His triumph of his discovery was swallowed when he realized he still had one more obstacle to go through before world conquest. "But first I must deal with the Dib worm human. Other wise—HE COULD RUIN EVERYTHING!"

"We should throw a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig party for him."

"No, GIR. We don't through parties for our enemies."

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

"BECAUSE YOU CAN'T!"

GIR's lips trembled and his eyes bore into Zim with a pitiful expression. Zim caved in at that look. "All right! You can have a party AFTER we've destroyed Dib. A celebration party of SUCCESS! SWEET SUCCESS!"

"YAY!"

Zim slapped a hand over his dog's mouth when he squealed and caused several people to look around questioningly. "Yes—celebrate your jubilant party throwing—but do it quietly. We don't want to be discovered before we can tell the Tallest _MY_ discovery."

"Okey dokey, master." Throughout the rest of the trip, GIR clapped and skipped all along the street with an occasional summersault thrown in with his glee.

Zim went strait to the controls of his ship and began pressing buttons to report to his leaders.

A screen flashed and his Tallest Red and Purple appeared in front of him. They each had a bowl of nachos in hand and were munching on them. Their expressions at first were happy then faded when they saw whom it was that had called them. Zim saluted respectfully.

"Zim!" Red said impatiently. "You've interrupted our nacho party. What in holey snacks do you want?"

"My excellent Tallest. Indeed you did the right thing when you entrusted this secret mission to none but the bestest!"

"Oh yes." Purple said resisting the temptation to say that "bestest" wasn't a word. "Well it's the least we could do. Now quit thanking us already!" He reached to turn off the screen.

"Wait! I didn't tell you the good news." Zim said frantically. He couldn't risk letting them go yet.

"Flying pigs will not help us conquer planet Foof, Zim. How many times to we have to tell you that?" Red announced irritably. "Why can't you just concentrate on the planet we've already assigned to you?"

"This has nothing to do with swine that can soar! And I am SO concentrated on this planet. Concentrated… like juice!"

"PIGGIES! Where's the pig?" GIR screamed sailing through the air and hitting the screen in a spread-eagle splat.

"GIR! Get down from there!"

Red groaned, slapping himself with his two claws. "Well, Zim, it's really nice to see you and all but we're awfully busy right now so…" He reached for the remote and prepared to shut off the TV.

"ButI'-!" The screen went black just as he said this in one quick breath.

There was a small pause where Zim thought that they surely hadn't heard a word of what he'd just said. Then the screen came back on again and the Tallest were both leaning into him with dangerous interest.

"What was that about dangerous genetic experiments that will help us conquer entire galaxies, Zim?"

The invader's face brightened into an evil grin as he began to explain his discovery.


	4. Chapter 4 Revenge of the Alien's Revenge

Chapter 4  
Revenge of the Alien's Revenge

His heart pounded so hard that everyone could hear it beating frantically with his fear. The aliens had him cornered and they all knew it. No doubt this was the end of everything for him. His nemesis had won and in just a few short minutes they would unleash the worst array of deadly weapons the galaxy had ever seen.

A flash of light filled the room and the next minute there was nothing left of the human but a smoking mess where his feet had been a moment ago.

"NO!" A cry broke through the silence and shock of the gunfire. "HE CAN'T DIE!" Dib cried at the screen when the supposedly "hero" of the movie was disintegrated right in front of their eyes.

"I know." Lilo said sadly. "I couldn't believe it either when we saw it in the theaters."

"Shh!" Stitch hissed to the two chattering humans.

They were all gathered around the television in Dib's living room. Strange but delicious snacks and drinks littered the coffee table. Things like Alien Eyeball Dumplings, Cockroach pudding, and Mummy Chow were normal specialties for movie nights when the Pelekais was concerned. So when Nani heard that Lilo and Stitch were watching a movie over at Dib and Gaz's, she and Pleakley happily prepared a few dishes for the two to take along with them. Plus the snacks were also meant for the three other aliens that would be accompanying them. Angel, Cannonball, and Dupe had all accompanied Lilo and Stitch upon Dib's personal request. It was so that he could better understand that not all aliens were bad by inviting them into his own home and seeing that they wouldn't tear the place apart because they were all good now.

He didn't even know that it was Lilo who had stimulated the idea into his head in the first place. So he got the thought that it had been his idea when it was really hers.

Gaz sat on the couch scooted to the farthest corner of the cushions away from the two experiments that were sharing it with her. Stitch and Angel sat together cuddling close and watching the movie with detached interest. Dupe lied asleep next to Lilo with her hand on his back like a soft little cat, and Cannonball sat in between Dib and Lilo, taking up most of the floor with his giant butt.

Dib wished the experiment had chosen a seat somewhere on the other side of the room so that _he_ was able to sit by Lilo. On the other hand, he was partly thankful that the tsunami-generating monster had taken that spot after all. His sister was just behind him and he doubted if she would ever let him live down the fact that he had an insane crush on the neighbor.

Thunder roared above the house and all the people jumped with surprise to find they were in total darkness the next minute.

"Oh no!" Gaz said irritably. "We were at a good part!"

"Okay, don't move." Dib announced to the others. "There should be some flashlights around here somewhere."

"It's okay." Lilo said coolly. "Stitch can find the fuse box. He can see in the dark."

"Great. I think it's downstairs but whatever you do don't mess with anything in my dad's lab."

"Okay, okay." There was scratching noises as Stitch crawled along the walls to the basement.

Rain pounded the roof, deafening all other sounds made in the house. Dib sat still as a gargoyle in the sunshine as the minutes passing in the thick black darkness.

_What on earth was taking Stitch so long with that breaker box_?

A hand pawed the air around him till it found his and clutched it tightly.

Dib's heart jumped dramatically. Lilo was _holding_ his hand for comfort. He'd never in his whole life ever held the hand of a girl, and a girl he particularly liked. And since no one could see them it was perfectly all right for her to hold his hand in the dark.

There was an eerie screeching as a branch ran across the window, making the hairs on the back of Dib's skull stand on end. He swallowed terribly as his mouth went dry.

"Hey uh—what's taking Stitch so long?" He asked breaking the uncomfortable silence with a shaky voice.

"I'm not sure. He usually finds it really quick." Lilo stated beside him. There wasn't an ounce of fear in her when she spoke. He decided that she must've been a good actress.

The door whooshed open suddenly as a flash of lightning cut across the sky, dramatically lighting up a hideous and terrifying figure.

The creatures and children screamed together, grabbing at one another and forming a tight knot of terrified limbs and heads.

Just then the power came back on and Dib's father stood curiously in the doorway, gazing down at the children and monsters.

"What is going one here?" He called over the screaming.

"Oh it's just you dad." Dib breathed with relief.

"We thought you were an evil scientist monster from another dimension." Lilo gasped hugging Dupe to her in protection. The little yellow animal cooed in agreement and Angel and Cannonball nodded their heads.

It was then that Dib realized that he hadn't been holding Lilo's hand after all because Cannonball was secured tightly to his arm where he thought Lilo had been holding it. But now he realized that her hold couldn't possible have been _so _tight no matter how hard she squeezed. The big fat creature was nearly tearing it off and they'd already found out that the intruder was no one to be afraid of. Somehow he couldn't see that, and he only held on tighter.

"Son, Daughter, what's happened? Have the living dead pets been walking through here again?"

"No, just a movie. And I said I didn't mean them to awaken that time. It was Zim's fault when he wouldn't let me suck out his soul with my Spirit Vacuum Cleaner 1:00."

Lilo turned towards him, an eyebrow raised in disbelief. "Spirit Vacuum Cleaner 1:00"

"It was a once in a life time opportunity. And it was half off on the Shopaholic Vampire website."

Dr. Membrane ignored the comments of his son and turned to the visitors smiling pleasantly with his eyes (cause they couldn't see his face with his long collar covering it up to his nose). "Neighbor girl and her strange blue dog, it's nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you too, Mr. Mambrane." Lilo chimed putting Dupe on the floor and patting him gently.

"Yes, good of you to visit us again. Is Gaz having you over for a slumber party thingy?"

"No I'm not." Gaz said matter-of-factly. "She was just here to watch a movie with her weird pets."

Dib was mortified by how rude his sister was being to Lilo and her friends. Strangely though, Lilo didn't look offended by Gaz's nasty attitude. His father didn't appear to have noticed ether. He was much too preoccupied with the aliens to pay attention.

"My what interesting specimens." He observed one of Angel's long antennae delicately. "What breed are they?"

"Egyptian blue furred ectoplasmic detection dogs." Lilo answered just as Dib said. "Australian poodles." They looked at one another and changed their answer just as the other did. Membrane looked from one to the other unsure if they were trying to be funny with him.

Dib allowed Lilo to talk first since she knew them better. "Stitch here is an Egyptian blue furred ectoplasmic Detection dog. He's very rare so most people have never heard of them before. It's said that they were a lost species, but my uncle Jumba uncovered what was left of their remains during one of his expeditions in Africa. Using some of his genetic imprinting processes, he was able to clone a new one from scratch, combining it with the DNA of a pug. Unfortunately there was a big explosion after all of it so the data was lost and he was only able to make the one of them."

"Fascinating." He said observing one of Stitch's giant spade-shaped ears. "Dr. Jookiba failed to mention anything about an expedition to Egypt. This is truly remarkable."

"He's very modest about most of his work sir. The _special_ things mostly." She gave Stitch and his cousins a little wink at this comment and they all puffed with pride.

Dib had to admire her. That story was pure genus. Not even he could come up with a tale like that. She'd definitely been practicing for the next time she ran into a question like this. It was much more believable than the answer she'd given to him when they first met five days ago. Plus it wasn't _all_ lying since Jumba _had_ created Stitch; maybe not from the remains of an extinct species but certainly in a laboratory. Which only glorified her uncle for Dr. Membrane even more.

"This is wonderful. What about the other three? Are they secret rare experiments?"

"Angel is an Australian Poodle." Lilo answered over his question, avoiding it smoothly. "They're much more heavy-duty than the frilly French puffballs. They're perfect with rescue missions and good company. They always cheer you up." Angel beamed and stood up a little straighter with her praise.

"I see. And are they all pink?"

"No. The males are usually red and they're not as sweet tempered as the girls."

"What about the other two?"

"Dupe is a lemur from Greenland. Don't worry about the long antenna on his head, that's completely normal." Lilo explained. "And Cannonball is a dwarf hippo from southern China. Down there his kin are good omens, promised to bring good fortune for fishermen if one is spotted during their journeys.

"So many rare animals. I don't believe I've ever heard of such things."

"My family is really into exotic and _extremely_ rear animals. Jumba mostly because he likes dealing with genetic research best of all."

Membrane looked fascinated by the creatures and it was starting to make Dib a little nervous. His dad didn't believe in aliens but weird mutated monsters wouldn't be too hard to explain things to him and he'd love to get swept into the discovery and excitement. Another bad thing was that his dad was a media freak and he was more than likely to want to bring the experiments into the public.

Dib didn't want to be the one whose dad spilled Lilo's secret. If that happened then she would never speak to him again. And she was the only friend he'd ever really had.

"Uh, dad. Maybe you ought to talk about Jumba's discoveries with Jumba. I'm sure he'd be able to tell you a lot more about them. NOT that Lilo probably doesn't know about her uncle's findings," He amended when he realized that what he'd just said could be taken into offence when considering her intelligence. "I'm sure she knows quite a lot about them but it could be nice to discuss it all with the man who founded the animals at work tomorrow."

"A brilliant idea, Son. Which reminds me I have quite a lot of work to do in the lab. You kids have fun and don't make too much noise, kay?"

"Sure, dad. We won't be too loud."

"Actually, I'd better get going. Nani will think we got caught in the storm and she'll want us home." Lilo turned to shrug on her bright green raincoat, which was embedded with a happy yellow frog on the back.

"You could always stay here and finish the movie you know." Dib feared that it had been because of what he said before that was making her want to leave in the first place. When she looked at him though she had a smile on her that didn't look at all offended but apologetic.

"That's alright. We've already seen it thirteen times. You guys enjoy it. We'll let you finish off the snack too. We can get the dishes tomorrow."

"Whatever." Gaz droned speaking for the first time since her father had come home. She turned back to the glass screen and flipped it on, beginning the movie from where they left off when the power went out. She positioned her self in the direct middle of the couch this time and munched on a bag of chips as she watch the hero being disintegrated once more.

Dib sighed walking Lilo to the door at least. "Sorry about her. She's been in a bad mood since birth."

"It's no big deal. I use to get teased all the time for being a bit _different_ from the other girls in my class. In a way it's almost fascinating."

"In what way."

"Well it's just that people seem to feel good about being mean to others who've only ever wanted to be their friends. Kinda weird isn't it."

"You people are the only weird ones here!" Gaz called from her place on the couch. Obviously their conversation hadn't gone so unnoticed as Dib had wanted. He was so use to her ignoring everything he said.

"I've had a long time to decide that I'd rather be weird and interesting that normal, which is just another word for boring." Lilo retorted smartly. Honestly it seemed Dib was liking this girl more and more by the second. He had to admire her pluck; he would've never had the courage to test his scary sister's patience. Gaz's head swiveled around to glare at the native little girl. In that instant Dib believed Lilo hd just made an enemy of Gaz. Her eyes shifted first from Lilo and then to her backbone pets. He could almost hear the wheels in her head weighing her chances of survival if she even attempted to beat up the girl. His little sister might've been evil but there was no way she would win in a fight with four very powerful illegal experiments. She glared at her for a moment and then shrugged it off. Dib was surprised by how easily she'd given up but then again she was probably going to do something worse when they all least expected it.

Dib groaned inwardly. He knew his sister too well and thought it would probably be good to warm Lilo about the soon coming horror. He put on his jacket and walked her and the animals down the yard.

"It's alright." Lilo shrugged. "I've dealt with worse situations that bratty little girls. The situation's nothing special. I expect she'll probably put glue on my chair or something like that."

"Well my sis is pretty sneaky. I just wanted you to be on your guard."

"We'll keep our eyes peeled for anything bad coming from her."

"Ih. Very peeled." Stitch said grabbing his eyelids and pulling them up in a lookout gesture.

The sky above gave another malicious roar and the group jumped with fright. Stitch stepped back under the protection of Lilo's red and white orchid umbrella. Cannonball cried out and gripped Dib in terror. Dib tried to pries him away but the little monster wouldn't let go of his waist.

Lilo leapt to help her friends. "Cannon, why don't you stay with us tonight since we're closer. It could be a slumber party."

Cannonball nodded appreciatively and took Lilo's hand when she offered it to him.

"See you tomorrow, Dib."

"Aloha, Dilbert."

"Bye, guys." He turned back into the house relieved to be out of the wet and cold, but not so much when he saw his sister standing infront of him and looking way too pleased to see him. Why on earth was she looking at him like that? He couldn't remember doing anything to upset her recently.

"I may not be able to hurt your little girlfriend thanks to her ugly extraterrestrial body guards but you know, part of the blame is yours."

"Me? What did I do?"

"You should've picked your friends a lot more carefully. You souldn't let her talk to your sweet little sister like that."

"Hey at least _I_ have friends." The sentence felt weird on his tongue. He'd never had friends before. "And it's not your decision on who I hang out with."

"No it's not. But that doesn't mean I won't take it out on you."

Oh great! She couldn't get to Lilo so she would settle with Dib instead. How could he not have seen this coming? Well that was just how Gas worked—nobody ever sees her coming till it's too late.

* * *

"So you're _sure_ that the 626 illegal experiments are on… Earth?" Tallest Red asked Zim for at least the forth time that night.

She cracked her knuckles dangerously and Dib prepared himself for a whole lot of hurt.

"Most certainly, my Tallest. I have evern made contact with the human thing responsible."

"Ooooo. A traitor pet is it?" Purple asked. "Betrayed their whole species to get on an invader's good side, eh"

"Well…" Zim began pausing for a moment. "I haven't _exactly_ spoken to her. I was just spying from the bushes."

"Ah ha! Zim's a Peeping Tom." Purple burst making Red roll his eyes in a gesture that said, _I can't believe I'm working with this moron_.

"Zim's name is Zim," Zim said standing up on his chair. "Not Tom. And invaders do not peep like a smeet chickens."

"Yes well, it's probably for the best. We don't want to break our promise when we end up killing it anyways." Red said.

"My opinion exactly." Zim said nodding approvingly.

"We will send you a scout to help you retrieve the expirements."

"No need my mighty Tallest," boasted Zim waving his hand dismissively at the suggestion of help. "I have developed a plan that will force the creatures to do my bidding already. There will be no help required for this mission."

Both leaders exchanged similar looks of unease by his decision. "Uh, Zim, this is a very delicate situation and must be handled with the utmost care. We would much prefer it if a more experienced soldier was accompanying you."

"WHAT SOLDIER IS MORE EXPIRIENCED THAN _ZIM_? I am programmed with more knowledge of this planet than any other invader could be with our home. If you could just send me maybe a few death ships and some super weapons, it would help my mission a lot better."

"We can't send you any ships, Zim. But if you would care to explain this plan of yours, we might feel more comfortable with leaving you to deal with this assignment on your own."

"Very well. It is brilliant once you hear it. But you should already know it's brilliant because it was thought up by Zim."

Yeah, yeah. Sure, whatever. But what is it?"

Zim smiled as he explained his plan. Once done, the Tallests looked at each other questioningly.

"I dunno," purple said finally. "The plan seems a bit… impractical."

"IMPRACTICAL!" Zim was indignant. How could they not see how foolproof this was? "I assure you, my Tallest, nothing will go awry."

"You're sure they won't try anything once you've got their cooperation?"

"Certainly."

"Very well. You will hold off the sending of another invader. In the meantime execute this plan of yours. Make sure _nothing_ goes wrong, Zim. This is important!"

"Oh it is so important." Zim agreed nodding his head enthusiastically. "That's why you gave this assignment to me!"

"Yes well, just don't mess this up already."

"Of course not sires!" Zim saluted proudly. "I will call again when I have apprehended the planet."

"Good. Watch and listen as much as you can. Signing off." And with that the screen went blank.

"GIR!" Zim hissed irritably.

"A head poked out from besides his chair. "Yeeeeeeeees?"

"Make yourself handsome, GIR. We're going to skulk behind the feet of the enemy and catalog everything our FILTHY DOOMED enemies say."

"Yay!" The robot's head opened suddenly and out popped the grass skirt, which he tied around his waist and began dancing stupid hula again.

"GIR!" Zim shouted getting profoundly impatient with the artificial intelligence.

"Okey-dokey!" The robot giggled once and skipped away to get into a proper disguise.


	5. Chapter 5 Potatoes

Chapter 5  
Potatoes

The rain was gone the next morning, leaving behind only puddles which were sure to disappear sometime after noon. Lilo coasted down the dirt road on her pretty red bike with Stitch seated in the basket attached to the handle bars. He kicked his feet back and forth like a little kid as the wind gently tousled his fluffy blue fur.

They were about to ride right past Dib's but saw him walking out of the house and decided to stop. He looked at them for a moment and then dropped his gaze to the ground.

"Morning, Dib." Lilo chirped skidding to a halt on his lawn.

Stitch waved from his perch. "Good morning."

"Hi." He said flatly.

_That's strange_, Lilo thought as she studied his behavior. _He doesn't look happy to see us_.

"We just stopped bye to say hi. We were on our way to Mrs. Hasagawa's and saw you coming our of the house. Are you going into town today?"

"Yeah. I gotta run some errands." He didn't look at her when he spoke.

"Well we can give you a ride if you want." She patted the seat behind her.

Dib eyed the bicycle suspiciously. He'd never trusted those things and the people who road them. Truth be told he'd never owned one of them himself. They just looked too uncoordinated for him.

"Don't look so scared. I've never wrecked before and I'm a lot less careful driver than Stitch."

"Ih."

"Ah… no thanks." He chided waving this hands and taking a step back.

"Awe come on. It's fun. And we can get you to the supermarket faster."

"Gee thanks Lilo but I think I'll just walk today."

"You sure?" he nodded. "Do you mind if I walk with you then?"

"Didn't you say you needed to get somewhere?"

"I'm early today for once. So it's okay if I take my time a little."

Dib looked like he was considering her offer for a moment. then he shook his head. "No thanks. I'd kinda like to walk alone today."

Lilo understood now. Something was bothering him and he wanted to mull it over himself. "Well okay. I'll see you later." She waved goodbye and sped down the hill with Stitch waving cheerfully from the basket. "Poor Dib." She sighed once they were safely away so he wouldn't hear her. "Something's bothering him. Did you see how he wouldn't look at us?"

"Maybe he sick."

"He didn't look ill."

"Maybe he misses old home."

"He told me yesterday that he liked Hawaii a lot more than Detroit."

"Maybe it's Zim."

Lilo thought about this for a minute. "That could be it. I know he's really frusterated with being in a strange place and not knowing what Zim will do next since he doesn't know where he is."

They skidded to a stop and parked the bike by a post sign when they reached the little old lady who ran the fruit stand. Mrs. Hasagawa stood with her back to them as she watered her pineapples. There was a time n history when Lilo was the same height as the little woman, now she rose approximately a full head taller than her.

"Morning, Mrs. H." Lilo called happily.

"G'morning." Stitch sang waving happily.

The poor woman was so hard of hearing she didn't even hear the two approach. Lilo tapped her gently on the shoulder and she spun around in surprise.

"Oh, Lilo, it's you."

"GOOD MORNING!" The little teenager repeated loudly for the old woman.

"Good morning, Deary. You're early today."

"Yes. Very early." Stitch cried successfully. "What do you want us to do?"

"Start by taking those crates to the truck, kay? Then you can help stock the water melons."

The two nodded and got to work without another word. They enjoyed helping the produce woman even if it wasn't for pay. They like being able to help people whenever they could and it allowed them to brush up on social skills (not that each of them didn't have those skills by the bucket load already).

Once finished with the morning preparations they began on help8ing out with the customers. They had twelve experiments visit today, either buying fresh fruits or just stopping by the say "hi."

Lilo was just in the middle of doing business with a regular human woman when she bumped into Dib by accident.

"Excuse me—oh hi, Dib." Her face brightened at the sight of him then faultered when she his face. A dark purple patch covered his right eye. Was that what he was hiding when he refused to make eye contact with her that morning? "Oh no! What happened to your eye?"

"Nothing." He said automatically.

"Was that there this morning when we stopped by today?"

"No. I just ran into a pole."

Even without Fibber, Lilo could sense the lie in his voice. It was obvious he didn't want to talk about it so she dropped the issue. Even still she couldn't help voice her concern. "Will you be alright?"

"Yeah. It's no big deal really."

"Okay. Well if you say so." She turned back to the woman she was helping and handed her back the change.

"Hello, Deary." Mrs. Hasagawa said coming up behind Dib. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yeah actually I'm looking for the potatoes."

"Ah. We have them over her, Sonny. Help yourself. They're fifty cents a pound." The little old lady lead him over to an entire stand strewn with every sort of potato that had probably ever grown in the world. Judging from the bewildered look on his face Lilo guessed he would probably need some help on this one. She came up behind him to see if she could be of some use.

"Wacha lookin' for?"

"Potatos."

_Well Duh_.

"But what kind of potatoes?" She specified. "Sweet potatoes, red potatoes, golden potatoes, giant potatoes, fresh potatoes, rotten potatoes… we have some very lovely Mexican tubers if you want those. They're good to eat raw with ranch dressing."

Dib looked at her like she'd just asked him a series of anthropologic questions that would determine the fate of the rest of his life. "So many decisions." He groaned.

"Well what would you like to do with the potatoes? Boil em, bake em, mash em, fry em, stick em in a stew?"

"My dad asked me to pick them up for a radiation experiment he's working on."

"I see. Well in that case you'll probably want to stick with the standard. Though I've heard that in some cases where science is concerned, other species of plants have different results. Are you sure he won't want some other options later on?"

"Knowing my dad he'll most likely want as many varieties as he can get. So I'll get seven of all of them."

Lilo frowned, reaching for the plastic bags. "That's an awful lot of potatoes. Are you sure you'll have enough for all of them?" She immediately wished she hadn't said that. Just because her family was occasionally short on cash didn't mean the rest of the world was. "I'm sorry. That was pretty Nosey of me. Just ignore my question, kay."

He waved is off, dismissing her curiosity as nothing to worry about. Once she'd finished packing them for him, he ended up with eight large bags of potatoes. It would take him at least two trips to get those, plus the extra errands he'd purchased from the supermarket, home.

"Do you want some help taking all those home?" Lilo asked gazing at the numerous bags overflowing in his arms and throwing him way off balance as he attempted to walk away. "I've got my bike so we can help you if you want."

Dib looked like he really didn't want to consider this but it was apparent he would not get far without help. He nodded his agreement when it dawned on him what a tedious hassle it would be to refuse. "Okay I gue—wait! Don't you have to work?"

"Actually I'm just volunteering. I'm sure if I explained things to my boss, she'd let me go early for once."

Just as she'd predicted, Mrs. Hasagawa was more than understanding with the situation. "Of course you can go, Deary. You've done wonderfully today; you and Stitch. Thanks to you two, I'm way ahead on my work."

"Thanks, Mrs. H."

"Oh, oh, wait a minute." Lilo turned expecting the woman to have one more thing for her to do before she left. Instead she handed her a large bag of red-orange fruit. "Here are some mangos for you to take home to that big ohana of yours."

"Thank you very much ma'am. See you later."

"Bye, bye. Have fun with your boyfriend."

Both Dib and Lilo blushed dangerously when several people, some of which Lilo knew very well, caught the woman's words as they were walking by. The two adolescence deliberately avoided eye contact for a few minutes as they walked together down the street. Then the silence became increasingly unbearable. To ease the tension Lilo began discussing trivial little issues.

"So uh, how was the movie? Did you like it?"

Dib shrugged. "The ending was unexpected. I didn't think that Tae would end up saving everyone."

"I know. Tae hardly appeared in the movie and he fooled everyone."

They talked together for a while and before long they realized they were about to pass Dib's front lawn.

"Thanks for helping me out."

"No problem. What are friends for?" She grabbed a handful of bags and left the rest for Stitch.

"Gaz! Are you home?" Dib called when he'd opened the door. There was no answer. "Good she must be out." Lilo caught the relief in those words. She wondered distantly how his sister could be so different from him. Dib was nice, unusual and skeptical to put it bluntly, but still nice. He was intelligent and very insightful and always ready to protect people even if they didn't give him the courteously of the doubt when danger was right in front of them.

Just like Lilo.

Gaz wasn't at all like that. Lilo hardly knew the girl and she seemed inexcusably insolent, as well as pushy and well… just plain bitchy. It was hard to believe the two of them were siblings; they didn't even look alike.

They put the potatoes in the basement on Dr. Membrane's desk where he would find them the minute he got home. Once done, they went upstairs and watched a bit of TV.

Despite their similar interests in aliens and paranormal monsters, their tastes in television shows differed questioningly. Where Stitch and Lilo both preferred old black and white television like the Twilight episodes and the old horror movies such as the Creature from the Black Lagoon along with King Kong, dib enjoyed the latest documentaries such as Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery and Monster Quest. Since they were only guests in his house, it was polite to let him pick what they watched.

In truth it was very interesting to listen to all the abnormal paranormal activity that went on in the worl these days. Dib sat intently listening to the Television and taking notes in the black book he carried with him everywhere. Stitch sat in the middle entranced along with Dib in the mysterious cases of monsters and physic powers. Lilo was a bit bored of the host's droning voice as he went on to explain the terrifying reality of hammer hen—a supposedly seven foot tall chicken that was said to attack small villages in Kenya. So instead she watched the reactions of her friends.

They both had similar expressions of awe as they watched the video taken by tourists who were visiting a village that had recently been attacked by the terrifying feathered fiend.

She smiled to herself at the two. It was nice to have a friends that shared her interests besides Stitch for once. She loved Stitch dearly but sometimes she wished she had someone she could relate to better because they were human as well. And as far as she was concerned, Dib was that person. It would also be nice for Stitch to have a good human boy as a friend too instead of an all too precarious little girl.

As far as Lilo was concerned, Dib was great—a little paranoid and geeky maybe—but still great. He was far more interesting than Myrtle that was for sure. And she felt confident that they would have great fun together and go on many adventures. Plus he seemed to be a bit disproportioned to how things were done in Kauai, so she would need to work on him a bit—get those suspicions loosened up and make him more laidback and relaxed. It would be good for him as well as herself—she hadn't had a project like this since she'd helped rescue all the experiments.

Dib must've felt her eyes on him because his head snapped up to look at her. She abruptly switched her attention back over to the television, pretending quite well that she'd been watching it the whole time.

* * *

**Just a little scene staring Lilo and Dib. They should so be together cuz they're such a cute couple!**


	6. Chapter 6 Alien Abduction

Chapter 6  
Abduction

Lilo was excited and nervous all at the same time. She'd been practicing for weeks on this hula that would mark her entrance into the next stage of advanced dancing. After the sorting of numerous ideas before finally deciding on one, countless rehearsals, and polishing it till it was absolutely perfect and here it was. The day had come at last and she would hardly sit still at the breakfast table. She kept tapping her fingers on the table, clicking her fork on her plate and shaking her leg in anticipation.

"Clam down, Lilo." Nani said, passing her a bowl of oatmeal and honey. "I know you're nervous but you're going to be fine."

"I know. I'm just so frazzled. Myrtle's hula is really good and I'm not sure I'll be able to match hers this time."

"Poota, Myrtle!" Stitch said lifting his head from his own bowl of oatmeal. "Yours is perfect." That brought a small smile to her face and she blushed softly.

"Hey you should invite Dib to come." Nani said sitting down next to her sister with a bowl of her own breakfast.

"I already did. I sure hope he doesn't think it's too weird."

"Ha!" Pleakley cried entering the kitchen with a paper under his arm. "He's really one to talk if her thinks it's weird. At least _we_ don't stalk perfectly good people and snap photographs with their trousers down."

Lilo's mouth dropped. "He did that to you?"

Pleakley looked guiltily out the window. "Well not to me." He answered sheepishly. "But I heard it from Nosey that he's done that to some people back in Detroit."

Lilo knew that if Nosey had said it then it was probably true. Even still she felt she needed to defend her new friend. "That's not true. And if it is, it was just Zim and that's okay because he's out destroy earth anyways."

"What I am wondering, "Jumba said pushing into the conversation himself. "Is why do you care so much about being absent of lower torso garments when you do not where any yourself?"

Pleakley was indignant to his question. "I was using an earth English term of speech, Jumba. It means to be caught in the act of an indecent crime such as aliens without their primitive earth disguises and then sending them to horrible alien kidnapping facilities. Like that Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery, where they dissect strange creatures on a table in front of live television."

"They don't do that!" Lilo and Stitch cried in unison.

"That show is more of a documentary than a live film show showing viewers the insides of extraterrestrial species." Lilo explained calmly. "Plus they deal with other unexplained paranoia such as ghosts and the Lochness monster. It's not all about aliens."

"Oh yeah, that's just what they want you to believe. But somewhere in that studio there is an evil work bench where lies a poor citizen of planet Aaaaaaaaaaaaab waiting in terror as the MIB agents slowly dissect it."

"Ha! You are sounding similar paranoid to earth boy neighbor." Jumba noticed shrewdly while laughing at the one-eyed noodle man.

"Don't you compare me to him! I'm not half as crazy as the big-headed kid!"

"Hey!" Lilo interjected glaring angrily at Pleakley. "Don't say stuff like that about him! He's not crazy—he's right. And his head _isn't_ that big."

Pleakley hung his head, knowing full well that the adolescence was right. "Sorry, Lilo."

She nodded her head once; glad to have made her point. She finished her food quickly and put her dishes in the sink, running off to change into her outfit she'd made all by herself.

She wore a crown of purple orchids and seashells twined together with reeds and vines. A fresh grass skirt tied with a belt of shells and flowers encircled around her waist. Matching bands looped around her wrists and ankles. Her top was a strapless purple shirt with an orchid pattern. A choker of pearls and seashells hung from her neck with matching earrings dangling from her lobs. She even applied some makeup: mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, blush, and lip-gloss.

When she had finished she glanced at herself in the mirror. For a moment she thought she was staring at a whole different person. The quirky little girl from before was gone and in her place stood an enchanting beauty.

Stitch wolf whistled from behind her and said she looked like a fairy princess without the wings. Lilo smiled with the statement wondering vaguely what Dib would think of her when she walked out on stage that night.

They walked out the front door, calling to her sister that they were leaving for the halau now and they'd meet the others over there. They went around Dib's house rather than going past it and risking the boy seeing her before the performance. Lilo wanted it to be a surprise when he first saw her on stage; don't ask her why—she just did.

The sky above gave a small grumble. Rain was coming and if they got wet her outfit would be ruined. Spotting an awning over a bus stop they dodged under it just as the rain fell behind them.

"I sure hope this rain doesn't last too long." Lilo moaned looking glumly at the billions of wet droplets falling from the sky.

"Is not going to last long." Stitch assured her.

"How can you tell?'

"Stitch can smell it. The rain cloud is not that thick. Will not be too long."

"Good."

They stood there and waited as the water evaporated from the air. Just as Stitch had predicted, it cleared within a few minutes.

"Great we can go now." Lilo took a step. Something whizzed threw the air and thumped against flesh. Stitch collapsed suddenly beside her, going very still. "STITCH!" She looked down and saw something sharp and tiny poking out of his neck. A tranquilizer dart? THEY WERE BEING AMBUSHED! A sharp prick struck the side of her neck and her hand slapped up where it did so. The darkness was instant, swallowing her up like the mouth of some horrible monster. She didn't even feel the ground when she collided with it. There was no pain in this world anymore—only darkness.

* * *

Dib sat calmly in a broken chair in the halau. Nani sat excitedly beside him, camera in hand and snapping pictures every now and then. Jumba sat on the other side of her and Pleakley beside him dressed in a green dress with a blue floral pattern. He had a blond wig pinned up in a large beehive. Dib looked over his shoulder and saw at the least two-dozen experiments lined up and seated in the rows behind him, anxiously waiting for the performance to begin. It was somewhat hard to believe that they were all here for a single little girl that had helped them in more ways than Dib could count.

The lights dimmed and dancers walked onto the stage. The seven year olds were the opening act today. Dib watched as they twirled and glided cross the floor, bearing big bright smiles to be on stage dancing for their own 'ohanas' like Lilo would be doing shortly.

The music soon ended and the little girls bowed as the crowed erupted into applause. They filed off the stage just as Moses was walking up behind them clapping his approval. "That was our seven year olds performing the Dance of the Waves. Next we had Myrtle Edmunds and her personal hula entitled, Pink Perfection."

A familiar red headed girl strode boldly on the stage in her entire pink getup. She had pink loop earrings, huge plastic pink bangles, pink anklets, a pink beaded necklace, a pink strapless top, even her artificial grass skirt was a bright shiny pink.

In short terms, Dib thought she looked like a Barbie doll had barfed all over her.

The music started and Myrtle began to dance. Dib studied her face. The smug smile clued him in that she must've thought her hula was by far the best of everybody's. To Dib though, it looked too jerky and impractical somehow. She was too full of herself to actually make people believe she was superior to others. The music stopped and she bowed low with inflated bravado. The crowd clapped halfheartedly mostly because sixty percent of the audience was made up of _Lilo's_ family and no one really seemed to take much interest in Myrtle simply because she was a spoiled little snob.

Even still Myrtle looked as if she'd won the entire room over with her "oh so wonderful dance". She bounced off stage as Moses came up behind her pretending to have enjoyed the hula very much.

"That was Myrtle Edmonds. Next we have Lilo Pelekai with her dance Tennyson."

The crowd clapped, screamed, and whistled with so much more enthusiasm than they did with Myrtle, one would think a rock star was about to come on stage. They waited and nothing happed.

Moses tried again. "Uh… Lilo Pelekai?" Again nothing happened. People looked from one to another questioningly.

"Where's Lilo." Nani asked to no one in particular voicing the thoughts of everyone in the room.

Moses addressed the crowd once more. "Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we can't find Miss Pelekai so we'll go ahead with Alika's hula for the present."

Jumba, Pleakley, Nani, and Dib all exchanged worried glances to one another as a little girl who was not Lilo walked uncertainly on stage.

"Where is Lilo?" Dib whispered nervously to the others.

* * *

"Hey, cuz, you alright?"

Stitch's head throbbed worse than if someone had smashed it against a concrete wall forty-seven times. He might've been indestructible, but that didn't mean he still didn't feel pain. It might not have been as dramatic as a human's but still.

Someone was shaking him, trying to rouse him into consciousness. His eyes opened and he tried to focus on the being above him. A huge purple nose filled his vision. His head snapped up and zoned in on the people talking to him.

Nosey and Slick stood side by side over him studying him intently with worried glances. "You all right buddy?"

Stitch groaned out a curt yes and held his large head in his hands as he tried to focus clearly. "What happened?"

"Well me and Slick were walking together over to the performance," Nosey began in his horse annoying voice, "we're both kinda late for it, and we were walking down the road and you were lying in the middle of the road, out like a light."

"Something hit Stitch on neck and…" Stitch's eyes went wide when he realized something was missing. Lilo was gone! "Lilo! Where Lilo?"

"Lilo?" Slick said looking concerned. "Lilo was with you? We thought she was at the performance today?"

"We were walking." Stitch explained, hastily jumping to his feet and scanning the area for the native Hawaiian who'd been with him before his world had gone dark. he snifed the ground as expertly as a blood hound and caught the little girl's scent along with the scent of another. it was unfamilure and putrid in a way. His eyes caught on something else that he hadn't noticed before. Lilo's shell and flower lay upsidedown where she'd been standing when he last saw her. He picked it up tenderly and held it as if it were the little girl herself. "It began to rain and we hid under buss stop roof. Rain stopped and something hit Stitch. Everything went dark and Stitch fell asleep."

"Why would someone kidnap Lilo and leave you." Nosey interjected thoughtfully. "Taking a helpless little earth girl and leaving a powerful genetic experiment isn't exactly what I'd call smart."

Stitch couldn't deny these words. When they'd been captured by Hamsterviel several years ago while saving the cousins, Stitch had been the valuable one, the one that would provide Hamsterviel with powerful cloned weapons. But Lilo was nothing to him; just an innocent bystander caught up in the situation. She had no special part in the grand scheme of things.

So why would the kidnapper take Lilo, a little earth girl with no superpowers whatsoever, and leave Stitch who was already unconscious and at their mercy? It just didn't make any sense.

He turned and something dropped from his back, landeding on the ground with a clink. Nosey picked it up and handed carefully it to him. "I think it might've been this." Stitch studied the thing. It was a tiny tranquilizer dart used by bounty hunters. Stitch didn't recognize the make.

Slick grabbed for it, producing a pair of spectacles from the pocket of his jacket and inspected it expertly. His eyes went wide and he gasped sharply when they caught on what appeared to be a symbol or some sort of seal on the side of it. "My friends, I know this symbol very well. This is an Irken military dart."

Stitch gasped, placing his hands on his mouth with horror. "ZIM!"

"It appears our little ohana has been discovered by foreign threats. No doubt they've sent one of their invaders to take over our lovely little planet in an attempt to add it to their empire of slaves."

Nosey probed Slick questioningly. "Hey how do you know so much about these Irken jerks?"

Slick sighed handing the dart back to Stitch. "That's none of your concern Nosey. I don't intend to spill such secrets to a gossip like you. What you can do at the moment is run to the halau and tell Jumba, Nani, and Pleakley that we need to meet them at the house immediately."

"Can't I come with you guys?"

"No, sir, you may not. Now get going please."

With a sigh he ran off in the direction of the halau as Slick and Stitch went the opposite direction.

"How you know it is Irken?" Stitch asked once they were certain Nosey was far, far away where he wouldn't overhear them.

Slick looked completely distraught as they ran. It was so different from his normal easy laidback expression that went with him every time he sold something. "Since you won't stop bothering me till you've discovered every little detail, it's because Jumba was a slave to them once upon a time."

Stitch couldn't believe his ears. "Jumba was slave?"

"Yes. I was one of the experiments he created under their rule. They didn't know about the genetic cousins back then. They'd heard rumors of the advanced artillery that he built for the United Galactic Military and sent bounty hunters to capture him. They had no idea about the genetic weapons he created such as you and me; very few people knew actually. Back then he still loved his ex-wife so they threatened to hurt her if he didn't cooperate. So with a heavy heart he bowed to their wishes. I think he made me just to cheer him up a bit. He spent seven years working for them before he found out his wife had been in on the scam the whole time. He created 349 and 350 after that with the intention of using them to steal back all the weapons he'd helped created for the Tallest. Then he busted out with the rest of us fleeing back to the Turo where the Irkens couldn't follow him."

Stitch shook his head with such horrible news, holding Lilo's flower crown close to his chest. "Stitch had no idea about that."

"Jumba would kill me for telling you so much about his past."

"Then why did you?"

"Because the little lady Lilo is missing and those Irken scum have something to do with it."

"Stitch think Zim did it."

"Who's Zim?"

"Zim is Irken invader that Dib fought in Detroit."

"An invader! Then it's worse than I thought."

They ran without speaking all the way back to the house where they found the others there, already waiting for them. Dib was there as well with a similar look of worry as the rest of them.

"Stitch!" Nani cried when they burst through the door. "Where's Lilo? We were at the performance but she wasn't there. Wasn't she with you."

"Lilo kidnapped." Stitch moaned in clear distraught. There were several gasps around the room before everyone called for Stitch to explain what happened. He told them all about the ambush and even showed them the Irken dart found at the sight of Lilo's kidnapping. Nani was distressed but that was nothing compared to how Dib was taking it. He slumped to the ground in pure horror to think his old foe had followed him all the way here.

"This is my fault." He uttered placing his face in his hands. Stitch thought he might cry but he didn't.

Stitch didn't like the boy looking like that. Somehow it reminded him distantly of how sad Lilo looked whenever she was disappointed or hurt inwardly. He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We will find Lilo."

"Yes we most certainly will." Jumba announced grabbing the keys to their spaceship. "So do not be taking so much of the blame. We will go back to Detroit and search Invader Zim's residence for little girl. You can show us where he lives."

Nodding Dib followed Jumba along with the others out the door.

"If that evil little green monster hurts my baby sister, I'm going to kill him." Nani threatened in a deadly whisper. "I'm going to wrap my hands around his throat and strangle him blue." Stitch studied Nani and found her with a set furious glare on her face and knew perfectly well that she wasn't bluffing in the slightest.

She was very protective of Lilo and had a good reason to be. Lilo was always running off getting into trouble and danger of all kinds. When she was appointed official experiment catcher along with Stitch, it hadn't been easy for Nani to cope with. The mere thought that the little girl was in danger daily had kept the woman up long hours of the night in sleepless worry.

As they approached the spaceship Jumba stopped Nani and said in a pleading voice. "Nani, I must ask you to stay behind."

Just as Stitch had predicted she was outraged by the mere idea. "No I'm coming with you."

"Nani, someone must stay behind to watch house incase someone tries to break in and steal more information concerning experiments."

"You're asking me to house sit while my sister is being held hostage by some lunatic? NO WAY!"

Pleakley stepped forward calmly. "I'll stay behind, Jumba. If something happens to the house I'll call Mrs. Hasagawa and she'll send Ace to help me."

Jumba sighed. "Very well. It will allow Nani to come with us at least. Watch out for anything suspicious and contact us as soon as you hear anything."

"I will."

And with that the four people boarded the ship as Slick and Pleakley stood below waving to them from the ground as the spacecraft flew up and away into the sky.


	7. Chapter 7 Teatime with Aliens

Chapter 7  
Teatime with Aliens

Lilo lay curled and sleeping peacefully in a ball. Whatever she was sleeping on wasn't too comfortable but she was tired and didn't care much for the moment. She rolled onto her side and tried to stretch her legs out but something stopped her. She pushed them up against something smooth and cold and realized she was hitting a wall. She tried to scoot up a bit but was stopped when her head hit smartly against another wall. Groaning she sat up and rubbed her eyes trying to make sense of the situation.

Where in the world was she?

Apparently she was in some kind of laboratory confined within a giant test-tube jar, similar to the glass containers they used to hunt experiments with when she was little. The laboratory was huge and she was ninety percent certain that it was an alien's of some kind. That would definitely explain why she was being held in a glass jar like some test subject. All the instruments in the room were red, purple, black, or a pale magenta color.

Instead of being frightened like any normal human would be at that point, she was curious.

"I wonder what sort of species owns this lab?" She wondered aloud. "I've never seen these kinds of tools before." She did a double take when she realized suddenly that something was watching her.

A little robot with big pale blue eyes gawked at her as if studying a fine piece of art. It was small, about the same size as a puppy with a single silver antenna on the top of its head.

They watched each other for a long moment before the robot waved at her and cried in a delightful squeaky voice. "Hello! You in a jar."

Lilo wasn't sure if the thing was messing with her or just mentally challenged. "Um hello. Thank you for pointing that out to me."

"You're welcome." It dropped on it's rear after that and stared longer at her. It cocked its head to the side as it stared longer. "You're pretty." It announced after awhile of this.

Lilo beamed at the robot deciding it was harmless enough. "Thank you. That's very sweet."

"You're welcome."

"Hm… you're cute. What's your name, little guy?"

The robot stood up saluting proudly, its eyes going briefly red. "GIR, reporting for duty." Its eyes went back to blue and it dropped back on its rear again, smiling happily. "I like you."

"Wait, GIR?" Lilo gasped, "Are you Zim's robot?"

"That's my master for ya."

"Then is this Zim's laboratory?"

"Yup."

"Where is he now?"

"Calling the Tallest. He told me to watch you while he went to tell them he captured you lickity-split."

Well that was strange. "Why did he capture me and not Stitch? He's the one people are most interested in."

"I dunno." The little robot stared longer at her always with the same hapy smile on his face. "Can you hula?" It asked hopefully.

"Um yes."

"I CAN HULA TOO! I have a grass skirt." Its head opened and out popped a plastic grass skirt. A poor imitation of what a real grass skirt was suppose to look like. The robot tied the string around his waist and began shaking his hips and waving his arms in what he hoped was a good imitation of a hula dance. Lilo had to giggle a little. It was so silly and the robot was so cute that she couldn't help but watch.

When he was done, Lilo clapped as if it had been a very good demonstration. Somehow it gave her an idea of how she might escape. "That was good. Have you had any lessons before?"

Just as she'd predicted the robot shook his head.

"I'm actually a very good hula dancer. I only need three more years of practice and I'll be a professional. I could teach you a few of my moves if you'd like."

The robot's eyes went very big at her statement. "REEEEEEALY?" Lilo nodded and GIR squealed with glee. "Can you show me now?"

"Of course." She stood up moving into a basic hula step. "Okay hands on your hips. Yes just like that. Now follow my lead." She did a few basic steps and the robot followed surprisingly well. The container she was in didn't provide very much room to dance in and she had to make due with dancing in place as GIR followed along. "That was great. You wouldn't happen to have any Hawaiian music would you?"

"Leeeeeeeet meeeeeee thiiiiiiink." His head opened up again and this time a sleek silver disk popped out. He caught it in the air and waved it in triumph before skipping over and inserting it in a drive and hitting a button. A happy little tune rose up from several speakers in the lab. A choir of children's voices was singing a familiar song Lilo had often danced to the tune of in hula class.

_There's no place I'd rather be_

_Get on the surfboard out at sea_

Ning a ring in the ocean blue

_And if I had one wish come true_

_I'd surf till the sunsets beyond the horizon_

_Ha wiki wiki my lohi lohi_

_Labey mika paphalanose _

_Flying by on the Hawaiian roller coaster ride_

Lilo twirled and shook her hips the exact same way Moses had taught her and GIR followed precisely. The third time she ran into the glass of her prison she growled in frustration.

"It's too difficult to show you how to dance correctly in this horrible thing." She sighed glumly stopping to catch her breath. "Maybe if I was out I'd be able to give you a proper lesson."

GIR's face lit up at the idea she'd implanted in his head. "_I_ could let you out."

"Oh no. Won't you get in trouble?"

"I wanna learn how to hula properly. It's okay if you don't escape."

"Well… okay. Just as long as you don't get in trouble."

"Nah, my master won't care much."

He reached up to the release button of her confinement and prepared to push it. Lilo held her breath as his fingers came up and—

"GIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

The two jumped and spun to see a green alien with big bulging red eyes standing hands on hips in the doorway of the laboratory. He pinned the robot with an accusing furious look. The robot waved happily to his master as if his interruption didn't bother him in the least.

He waved happily to the man and squealed. "Hiya, master. I'm gunna learn how to hula. Wanna hula with us."

"NO, GIR!" Zim yelled stomping over to the controls and switching the disk off so that the laboratory was once more quiet. "We don't let our valuable prisoners out so we can learn how to hula!"

The little robot looked so sad Lilo couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "But she's a professional and she's gunna teach me how to hula good."

"We don't let our prisoners out even if they are a professional hula dancer. UNDERSTAND?"

GIR's lip trembled, his big blue eyes watering up with Zim's hurtful statement. Lilo couldn't help but feel sorry for him now. It must be very difficult to have to work with someone so mean. Zim seemed to regret his outburst.

Sighing, he addressed GIR with a little more discretion. "Look, GIR, I'm kinda hungry. Go… make me some waffles."

The robot's mood brightened dramaticly. "Okey-dokey, master. I'll make waffles and muffins. Then we can have a tea party." He turned to Lilo grinning broadly. "Do you like coffee and muffins?"

"I love coffee and muffins. Coffee is the best drink on earth ever. And my favorite muffin is blueberry."

"I LIKE BLUEBERRIES TOO!" GIR skipped away saying over his shoulder of how they were all going to have the best coffee and muffins and waffles ever in the whole world. The door slid shut behind him and Lilo and Zim were left alone.

"So you're Zim are you?" Lilo said neglecting to use the encouraging benevolence she used with GIR. "Funny your so much shorter than Dib described you."

He glared at her. "What did that Dib-stink tell you about me? Whatever it was HE LIED!"

"Gee-wiz don't get your panties in a bunch—"

"ZIM WEARS NO UNDERWEAR, FILTHY HUMAN!"

She stared at him before it dawned on the alien that what he'd just said was rather stupid.

"Okay… a little too much information there."

Zim's glare narrowed spelling danger close at hand. "You may have gotten that much information out of me, Lilo princess, but you'll get none more with your mind powers."

"Wait, did you just call me a princess?"

"Yes! You, who are princess of Hawaii and ruler over the 626 experiments of Dr. Jumba Jookiba. I will hold you hostage and THREATEN them with THREATS of THREATENING you."

"…Alrighty then. But I don't get it what makes you think I'm a princess of anything?"

"I heard it from that Dib-stink from his very own mouth." He laughed when he saw Lilo's surprised expression. "Ha! You had no idea that I was listening did you. Just comes to show you FILTHY humans how much better Irkens are at spying than humans are. I've caught Dib spying one me each and every time now. But he has failed to detect me even when I was mere feet away from destroying him for good."

"Wait a minute. You were stalking us that day. You twisted little Peeping-Tom—"

"ZIM'S NAME IS ZIM! NOT TOOOOOOOOOOM! AND I DO NOT PEEP LIKE CHICKEN BABY!"

Lilo gawked at him stunned that someone could have a freak-out that drastic. And all she'd done was say Peeping-Tom. "Holy cheese-its. Have an aneurysm much?"

Zim scowled inquisitively. "A what?"

"Never mind. What do you plan to do with me exactly?"

"I will keep you here. I have already sent a packaged to Dib and when he realizes that he has to come an rescue you himself, he will do whatever it takes to rescue his little ma petite ch`ere."

Lilo's eyebrow raised, amused by his choice of words. "His little what? I don't think Dib has ever called me that before. Where did you hear that term? Some trashy harlequin most likely."

"SILENCE! It is inconsequential to where the term originated. The point is that I will destroy him when he comes to your aid. Thus ridding myself of his nascence and abnormal big head filled with nothing; nothing but goo."

"Riiiiiiiight… well good luck with that. I'll bet you a dollar that your plan fails." She smiled knowingly at the prospect of Zim's defeat by Dilbert. She couldn't help but be a little cocky to the green space alien as she crossed her arms in a sure sign of bravado. "Dib's way smarter than you and he's beat you dozens of times. Plus he'll have the rest of my ohana to help him beat you up. So I'm not worried at all."

"Think what you want, Lilo princess human. But your earth monies will be mine after I've annihilated the Dib-stink with my very own set of booby traps that are set to go off if he enters these perimeters of my spaceship."

That caught her a little off guard. "Wait spaceship. You mean we're in space? Not your lab in Detroit?"

"You are _stupid_ think I am _stupid _to make the _stupid_ move of going back to my _stupid_ earth base? We are hovered six hundred and twenty five miles above the earth's atmosphere at this very moment. You will not be able to escape easily in this altitude. Tell me, can you pilot an Irken invader escape pod, Lilo human?"

"Well." Lilo touched her lip in thought. "If it's anything like a Galactic Federation Police cruiser, or the hover craft I got from Jumba for Christmas, or our crimson Bugby at home then… yes. I'm sure I can pilot it."

"Oh really?" Zim's eyebrow rose. Perhaps he hadn't expected her (a human on a typically primitive planet) to know so much about alien technology. "Well… YOU ARE WRONG! The Galactic Federation is nothing in comparison to Irken technology. We have everything any advanced civilization could hope for. We have automatic navigation systems, seventy-two hour auto pilot, star maps, and adjustable cup holders for the extra large sodas."

"Oh yeah. Well my uncle Jumba practically built our ship by himself with nothing but scraps collected from Turo and everyday household earth appliances like toasters and garbage disposals. It has two hyperdrive boosters, an automatic defense system that's triggered with the biosignatures of undesired species like Irkens as well as known criminals, it has rocket launchers, five backup generators, wireless internet, and adjustable heated seats. Hm!" She threw her nose up in the air with snobby triumph, savoring in the furious look Zim threw at her.

"Heated seats and wireless Internet is nothing compared to adjustable cup holders."

"Is too!" Lilo said sticking her tongue out in protest.

"Is not!" Zim argued sticking his own tongue out.

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"SHUT UP!"

"NO YOU SHUT UP!"

"NO YOU SHUT UP!"

"NO YOU!"

"NO YOU!"

"WHO WANTS COFFEE?" The two stopped glaring at one another to turn and see a little GIR prancing in the room bearing a big tray of hot blueberry muffins, waffles, and a steaming pot of coffee with syrup, cream, and cups and plates for all of them.

It had been a while since she'd eaten anything and her argument with Zim had made Lilo pretty hungry. She could almost smell the coffee with all the steam coming from it and her mouth watered with the prospect of food.

Zim turned to Lilo, glaring sharply and waving an angry gloved finger at her. "We will continue our discussion later. It's teatime now and I don't want to deal with you until AFTER I've eaten. Keeping an intelligent argument going wets my appetite so we will begin where we left off AFTERWORDS. Understand?"

Lilo folded her arms and nodded curtly. "Agreed."

GIR set the tray on a stand and began setting out utensils and dishes for all of them including Lilo. "I hope you like it everybody! The waffles have chocolate chips in them."

* * *

**A tiny agrument between two immature little people. I thought it was kind of cute how Lilo and Zim had a "shut up, no you shut up" fight and then stopped to have a snack before continuing. **

**I would LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to see GIR hula for reals. It was sweet of Lilo to teach him some hula moves when she was being imprisoned in a horrible glass jar by Zim. **


	8. Chapter 8 Rescue Failure

Chapter 8   
Rescue Fails and Birthday Presents 

Dib slumped into his house completely exhausted. They'd gone to his old home in Detroit that day and had found nothing; absolutely nothing to give them any clue as to how they were suppose to find Lilo. What was worse was that when they got to Zim's old base, it had been bulldozed over till there was nothing left but an empty lot. Not even the underground laboratory was still there. According to Jumba's echo detectors, the whole structure had been caved in sometime ago. And if that weren't enough they'd somehow triggered the old defense system (surprise it still worked when everything else was blown to pieces). They'd run away with minor casualties though Nani had tripped sometime during the chaos and broke her arm. If it hadn't been for Stitch they wouldn't have gotten out of there alive or at least still in single pieces.

They limped home in defeat, nursing their various wounds during the ride back. Stitch piloted the ship since he was the only one without any casualties (well that was Mr. Indestructible for ya) while Jumba tended to Nani's broken arm and Dib's various burns and cuts. The doctor himself suffered with minor cuts and bruises but was otherwise unhurt. Dib noticed he was surprisingly tough for a scientist. His skin was nearly as thick as a rhino's but flexible as a seal's.

"If I ever see that little green monster I'm gunna tear his eyes out for this." Nani promised to the air as Jumba tenderly wrapped it with bandages and placed her arm in a sling. Dib was a little less willing to let the doctor examine him. He still had trouble with trusting interspecies but hey if Nani was all right with it, he guessed he could too.

"Hmm. You are not as puny as you seem, Dib neighbor." The doctor noted as he examined a nasty chemical burn on his back. "I expected you to be less lithe. But you are surprisingly agile when danger is afoot. Do you do track?"

"No but I do have to run pretty fast when I'm investigating paranoia suspects. And when my sister gets mad, it's always a good idea to know where the alternative escape routes are."

"You are frightened of little sister?" Dib could hear the surprise in his voice as Jumba wiped cool cream on Dib's burning shoulder blade providing him with instant relief. "It is strange. She is much shorter than you."

Dib chuckled slightly. "Sure doesn't mean she's helpless. She can be pretty scary sometimes. One time I gave her pig taste buds. For three months strait she couldn't taste anything but ham despite what she ate: pizza, ice cream, cereal, it all tasted like a pig to her. The only thing that tasted normal were hotdogs. Hot dogs are made of pigs so that made sense. Three months strait on a diet of nothing but hotdogs. Man I've never felt so bad about anything in my life."

"Might I ask why you gave her pig taste?"

"Well… I had these spell drives and there was one that still had a spell left on it. I wanted to see what the spell would do so I tested it out on my sister before I tried it on myself. All I can say is that it was a really bad idea and I am definitely not going to do it again."

There was a moment of silence and then Jumba laughed startling Dib. "Ha ha ha. That is a perfectly _evil_ thing to do to younger sister. Though I am surprised that you cannot deny that sister might've deserved it, even a little bit?"

"Of course not… well maybe a little. After all there were all those times when she never came to rescue me when I was in trouble."

"I do not know Gaz very well." Jumba said wrapping a bandage over the wound. "But she is not too concerned of ohana, is she?"

Jumba's words hit a place in Dib's being that had never been touched before. It struck hardest coming from him most of all. Jumba wasn't related to any of the people he lived with, but he had played the role of Lilo's loving uncle better than Gaz played as his sister or Dr. Membrane did as their father.

"No, she doesn't." Dib said, answering his question after a slight pause. "Jumba?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you stay with Lilo and Nani? Why didn't you go back and live in your great big lab in Turo?"

Jumba seemed to do a double take as if it had been the last thing he'd expected the boy to say. "That is very interesting question to be asking me." Then he sighed from behind the boy. "It is because I lived with them for three years prior and leaving them was too difficult. Lilo, Nani, Pleakly, and even the 626 experiments mean very much to Jumba. It is difficult to describe. I could come back to it whenever I wanted, but while I was gone, ohana would still be there changing and evolving without Jumba. Ohana always comes first in our family. Big laboratory wasn't all too important anyways."

Dib studied the floor with detached interest. After a moment's pause he said quietly. "My dad wouldn't have chosen family."

He felt Jumba halt briefly behind him and had the slight feeling that for a moment the doctor was going to argue with him, but he didn't. His silence spoke of unwanted truths he could never deny. Sighing he turned back to the wounds, submerging himself in his work. After a while he patted Dib on the back and proclaimed he was done at last.

Relieved to be free of the alien's examination, he threw his shirt over his shoulders before instantly regretting the hasty move, which only enflamed the burn once more. They arrived in Kauai sometime after midnight and dropped Dib off at his house before continuing the trek back to the beach house that was merely a few yards away.

Dib dragged his tired aching body through the house and up the stairs to his room. His sister was just coming out of the bathroom, submerged, as usual, in a video game. Her eyes raised to look at him briefly before turning back to her Game Slave II. "You look like a wreck. What in holly vampire piggies have you been doing? Oh wait—," she announced holding up a hand to him before he could answer. "You know what? I don't care."

_Of course not_, he thought going to his room without another word. He fell into his bed and closed his eyes, neglecting to change into his pajamas or even take off his glasses. He was too tired to care about the details and fell into instant sleep. It seemed like moments later when he was awoken by a flashing coming from his computer. That's strange he thought he'd turned it off before he'd gone out that day.

Reluctantly he crawled out of bed and went to shut the screen off. He was surprised to see that the flashing hadn't been from his computer but a box with a bright blue screen on the top like an electronic nametag flashing the words "OPEN ME!" in big yellow words. There was a button on the side of it wher he assumed he would have to press if he wanted to open the container.

Hesitantly, he pushed it.

The lid burst opened and confetti exploded from within along with a loud obnoxious jingle that reminded Dib of clowns and birthday parties. A large television screen lifted up from the box and the music stopped as it flipped on lighting up a dark figure Dib had seen far too many times when he least wished for it.

"Zim!"

The green alien smiled unpleasantly at his old foe.

"Hello, Dib." The purr in his voice was sickening. Dib wished he could jump into the screen and slap that gloating smirk off his face. "Even if you have moved halfway across the world I've still been able to locate you. Which just come to show you how much superior my species is compared to you pigs monkeys."

"What have you done with Lilo, you jerk?"

"In case you didn't know, this is a recording, so any question you have will have to wait until _after_ you've come to my base. AND YOU WILL COME because I have your girlfriend here. And if you don't want any HORRIBLE experiments to be done on her, you'd better hurry up."

"Human experiments on Lilo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Oh yes, Dib. I will put her in a time field and fast-forward and rewind her like a bad movie—the same way I use to do with you. —cough!

"NO! NOT THE TIME FIELD!"

"YES! THE TIME FIELD! So get over here so I can destroy you. And you better do it quick before I make her watch BARNEY EPISODES… IN GERMAN!"

"NO! NOT BARNEY EPISODES IN GERMAN!"

"YES! BARNEY EPISODES IN GERMAN! And if I smell ANY of those 626 experiments with you or that idiot scientist Jookiba, I'll attach hideous spiked wings on her back or put an extra pair of ears on her forehead or turn her into… AN EMO."

"NO—wait. Is that it?"

"So hurry up, Dib. She's really starting to annoy me. Here are the coordinates to my spaceship. We're in space so get a spaceship or something and meet me here. Oh and GIR wanted me to tell you he says 'hi'."

A card popped out of a slot with the area code he would need to find Zim's ship. Dib took it reading it over carefully incase he lost it by accident.

"Oh hey, Dib." Zim said just a little too cheerfully. "This message is going to self destruct in ten seconds so if I were you I'd take cover or something before it destroys your room. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Dib screamed seeing little numbers counting down to the explosion. He grabbed the box and tossed it out his window before he remembered that he'd shut it when he left. The glass shattered and the box exploded upon impact with the ground, leaving a crater the size of a car on his lawn directly below the front door. They'd have to get a plank of wood to cross over it if they didn't want to accidentally fall in the hole.

Dib waited tensing for the moment when his sister and father would cry out in surprise, asking to the night, "What the jalapeno was that?" After a few seconds of silence it dawned on him that they hadn't heard a thing in their deep sleep.

Looking down at the destroyed lawn and his shambled window, he wondered vaguely how he was going to explain all this to his dad.

First thing was first, he had to wake up the Pelekais and tell them he'd found a way to save Lilo. He got up starting for the door then stopped. Zim said that he was supposed to come there alone, or he'd do something horrible to Lilo. Knowing Zim it would be really nasty; I mean he threatened to turn her into… _an emo_! Dib shuddered at the idea. The mere suggestion was unbearable.

Perhaps though he could get Stitch and a few of the more useful experiments to help him. Surely there would be a few of them that would help them out. They owed Lilo that much for helping them find their one true place in the world. Perhaps with their talents they'd be able to even get in and get out without so much as being heard.

Just maybe, just maybe it would work.

* * *

"This is far more than just petty revenge." Jumba said when he heard of Dib's story. The whole Pelekai household was seated around the table, hot cups of coffee place in front of all of them and a large plate of donuts in the center of the table. "Zim would not go to all the trouble to kidnap little girl merely for payback to old nemesis. I sense an alternative motive for this."

"What do you mean?" Dib asked. He hadn't touched either his beverage or the sticky sweet snack.

"It is to be believing that Zim is holding Lilo hostage for all of us, but mostly for the 626 experiments." He leaned in over the table to Dib. "Tell me, did he say anything of releasing her after he has you where he wants?"

Dib thought, remembering back to when he was watching Zim's video recording. "Now that you mention it, no he didn't."

"Just as I thought."

"But why would anyone think to kidnap Lilo and not Stitch." Nani observed aloud. "I mean it makes no sense. He's the powerful one after all. And I'm surprised to think he didn't snatch Stitch while he was unconscious and at his mercy. After all, all the foes they've face before have always been after him."

"Ih." Stitch nodded to Nani's point.

"He could of at least taken Stitch as well." Pleakley said as an afterthought.

"Irkens work by surprise." Jumba informed them expertly. "They have a tendency to work in ways you would not expect. Which is why it is so unexpected. He will use little girl as threat to all of us if we do not do what he wishes. One step out of line and he will do whatever horrible things he can inflict upon her."

"It was horrible." Dib said, shivering with the memory of the alien's suggested duress. "He said he'd give her spiked wings, or ears on her forehead or turn her into… (_shudder_) an emo."

There were sharp gasps all around the table at the revolting idea. Pleakley choked on his coffee. Stitch let out a terrified squeak and Nani pounded on the table.

"NOT IN THIS HOUSE!" she bellowed and all of them nodded their agreement.

"We've got to save her before he can brain wash her. I'm gunna need the spaceship."

Jumba shook his head. "Ship is too big for that. Zim means for you do dock in _his_ ship and I am certain our Bugby cannot fit in Irken craft. They are very puny species after all."

"If we had maybe just a cruiser…"

"What about the police cruiser?" Nani suggested, her face lighting up with hope.

Jumba shook his head. "Is broken and I haven't needed part to fix it. Have to order them from Galactic Internet. BLASTED PRIMITIVE EARTH PLANET!"

Dib jumped up remembering now. "Wait I have an Irken voot cruiser in my basement we could use."

Jumba looked at him as if he had celery growing from his ears. "Why did you not mention this sooner? Where in world did you get Irken voot cruiser?"

"It was from another invader but she's gone now. I've got her ship with me and we can use it to get Lilo back. It's small, fast, and I'm pretty sure it could seat five small people at the most. Typically Stitch's size."

"Oh, oh!" Stitch jumped up excitedly. "Take cousins. Take three good cousins."

* * *

"These glasses will allow you to see each other while you are invisible to Zim." Jumba announced handing out pairs of infrared goggles to the recruited rescue appointees. Earlier that morning Stitch had gone out in search of the three desired cousins that would accompany them with the mission of saving Lilo. Dib looked the creatures over and decided that they were the best they could've ever hoped for.

A large rabbit-like creature called Houdini who could make things go invisible would prove to be very useful in infiltrating the base. Sparky would provide with technical difficulties with the ship and Morpholomew had a very important role once they were behind enemy lines. They stood with them behind the light blue beach house where Dib's voot cruiser was getting a checkup by Jumba.

There were a few minor bugs the scientist needed to sort out before their mission began. "For a boy of only thirteen, you have done surprisingly good job of fixing advanced alien technology?" Jumba noted as he was putting in the final adjustments to the cruiser. "Did your father help you with this?"

"No." Dib said with a smidgen of smugness added to his voice. "He doesn't believe in aliens so I had to work out all the details by myself."

"Hmm. Well done. Perhaps you could become evil genius someday if you keep your work like this." Dib's mouth dropped and his eyes bulged in horror with the mere suggestion. Jumba laughed with the expression he'd put on the boy. "Ha ha ha. Am just kidding. Do not be looking so revolted by idea. Evil geniuses have lots of fun."

"That's because they break the law."

"Ah ah ah." The man said shaking a dismissive finger at the scowling boy. "If Jumba had not broken law, there would be no experiment Stitch or any cousins. And Dr. Jumba Jookiba will never feel bad for making Stitch even if original purposes was for unimaginable doom."

Dib had nothing to say to that, so he said nothing. Jumba had a point there. If it hadn't been for Stitch maybe Lilo wouldn't be the way she was now. She wouldn't be that bright, bubbly teen he fell for. The same girl he was going in space for as well as facing his old adversary again. He thought of how Angel and Stitch were when they were left together and wondered if maybe the two of them could ever be like that someday; so carefree and so… in love.

He'd like working as a paranormal agent with her. She sure would make it interesting, or at least more so. Some how he had the feeling that she would awaken the dormant good side of the monsters and ghosts they were faced with rather than fight them, as he was more prone to do. He wondered if after this, she would feel differently of him; maybe more of him even.

His hopes were interrupted as Jumba began mapping out their plan for when they entered Zim's base. Like a Broadway play, they all had their role to fulfill and if all went according to plan then they would escape before the Irken even realized he'd been swindled.

"Once there you will be expected to keep constant communication with one another. However do not attempt to contact anyone outside of the ship otherwise you will alert the computer of an outgoing message and give away your position."

"Yeah!" Dib said knowing all too well what it was like to have infiltrated an enemy base at last only to be detected by his own stupidity.

"Good luck to all of you." Jumba said dismissing them to bored the ship. "Remain in contact until you have cleared the atmosphere."

"We will." Dib said boarding the voot cruiser with the rest of the cousins. It was a bit of a tight squeeze because there were so many of them but with a little adjusting and they fitted nicely in the small spacecraft. The engine hummed to life and the passengers waved their goodbyes to the spectators below before zooming off and fading away in the distance.

* * *

**Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. **

**I was rereading what I'd already published so far and I'm a bit irked with myself for making so many mistakes. There's nothing there too big, just small little errors really like being repetative, or misspelling words, or not putting a comma in where it's needed. Even if they are petty little mistakes, it still it annoys me to think I'm that careless in my editing. I'm trying to somewhat of a writer here and I get the vibe that I should really be looking out for these kinds of things.**

**On another note the scene where I was trying to figure out what would be the worst thing imaginable for Zim to turn Lilo into. i came up with a few ideas. **

**Idea #1: A rabbit. It's kinda strange I know but it's the first thing that popped into my head at the time. Then I got to thinking you know Lilo might not feel too bad about being a rabbit. She always seems to look on the bright side of life and her family is always really supportive of her. And if being a rabbit like creature is fine with Houdini, I'm sure Lilo wouldn't have a probleme with it just as long as she was still somewhat cute.**

**Idea #2: A democrat. This idea struggled with me for a long time. I wasn't sure if I should use it or not. I was most certain that a democrat somewhere out there would read my story and be offended by my views. And unfortunately I happen to be a people pleaser. And since at present I only have one viewer, I have no intention of scaring he or she away with my views and happen to unintentionally loose my only reader.**

**Idea #3: an orthodontist: Upon further perception I realized this idea was just stupid.**

**Idea #4: a monster. This idea just doesn't work because Lilo is constantly exposed to the experiments of the island which are already colorful little monsters. And again i am met with the same problem I had with the rabbit. Lilo would just look on the bright side of her predicament and it might not be so bad.**

**Idea #5: a pigeon**

**Idea #6: a pig**

**Idea #7: an energy drink**

**Idea #8: a goat**

**Idea #9: a liberal**

**Idea # 10: a cheerleader**

**Idea #11: Obama**

**It was all really starting to peeve me off. In the end I finally decided on an emo because Lilo's so cheerful and carefree, it would be like some alternate dimension to see her so gloomy and depressed. But at least then Gaz would have someone in common with. **

**Honestly I'm not sure about my decision. Perhaps a democrat _would've_ been better. I dunno if anyone's reading this but if you are, please, please pretty please vote on it and tell me what you think as well as how the story is so far.**

**Thanks a million for viewing.**


	9. Chapter 9 Sorry Seizures

Chapter 9  
Sorry Seizures

"Okay there's no way a cherry would be able to win against a strawberry if fruit had the ability to engage with one another in battle." Lilo insisted crossing her arms stubbornly. She glared at Zim from within her glass prison whom glared just as tensely right back at her. "I mean strawberries grow so much bigger than an average cherry. And it could use its seeds to repel and incapacitate the cherry like a machine gun."

"Oh yeah." Zim said balling his hands on his hips. "A cherry would use its stem as a sword and slice through the seeds as they came sailing through the air with super speed only a cherry would have."

"I think a strawberry would win cause it taste better." GIR said.

"OF COURSE YOU WOULD SAY THAT!" Zim shouted irked off with the horrible robot slave. "YOU'VE BEEN SIDING WITH THIS _HUMAN_ ALL NIGHT LONG!"

Over the past three hours they had been in several discussions and arguments. Such of which include what color looked better on GIR, chartreuse or magenta, what the real winning team for the US National Mathathon should've been, why a chiwawa shouldn't be considered a dog, what Goofy was suppose to be if Mickey was a mouse and Donald was a duck, why Earth was better than Irk, why Irk was all around superior to Earth, how mechanical beavers could be used to take over China, and why Tina should've never left Ike.

Zim roared with the frustration this girl could cause him. "WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF FRUIT CAN FIGH ONE ANOHER? IT'S FRUIT! I'M GOING TO GO AWAY SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE!" He stomped towards the door but paused when he realized something was missing. "GIR, COME WITH YOUR MASTER!"

The robot stared at him blankly. "But I was going to wait till you were gone so she could teach me more hula. Then we were going to make poi. And after that she was gunna teach me how to surf."

"GIR!" Zim cried in pure outrage for the stupidity spewing from his robot. "SHE'S A VALUABLE HOSTAGE AND YOU WANT TO LET HER OUT SO SHE CAN TEACH YOU AWFUL PRIMITIVE EARTH DYSFUNCTIONS?"

"Dysfunctions?" Lilo repeated, clearly outraged.

GIR looked up at the ceiling thinking hard, his tongue hanging out and a long string of silver drool dripping off and splashing on the floor. After a moment he looked at Zim and said, "Well yeah."

Zim threw his head back and growled out a curse in his own language. Then jabbing an accusing finger at the stupid robot he shouted. "WELL YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN NEVER LET HER OUT BECAUSE SHE WILL ESCAPE THE MINUTE SHE IS FREE!"

"She will?"

"YES! YOU OBSCENE WASTE OF SCRAP METAL! SHE MOST CERTAINLY WILL!"

The robot looked at him longer lacking to take in the insult his master had delivered. A long moment passed where no one said anything. Then GIR asked. "She will?"

Zim made a choking sound and threw his arms angrily in the air. "SILENCE! COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!"

"But I don't wanna live."

"I DON'T CARE! COME WITH ME ANYWAYS!"

"Okey-dokey." The robot skipped over to his master's side and Zim jabbed a finger at Lilo addressing her more calmly then he did to GIR.

"AND YOU! Stay in that capsule and quit talking."

Lilo shrugged glibly turning her nose up as if she smelt something bad. "Whatever. There's no one _fun_ to talk to now that GIR is leaving."

"Hey, I'm still here." Came the deep metalic voice of Zim's annoying computer system.

"QUIET COMPUTER! You are not to talk to her either."

"But she's the only fun one in here… well besides GIR. But he's kinda stupid… no offense." The computer said with what was certainly something one would take offense to. But GIR didn't seem to mind. In response, he began pounding on his own skull while giggling insanely.

"SILENCE, EVERYONE!" Zim turned to GIR bearing down on him like an evil green insect monster. "GIR, GET OUT AND COME WITH ME! COMPUTER, DON'T TALK TO THE PRISONER!"

"Fine." The voice said glumly, voicing his complaints aloud. "Man I never get to do anything fun."

Zim ignored the moans and wines of the stupid voice system. His throat ached from shouting so much and he just didn't feel like telling everyone to shut up for a third time. Grabbing GIR by the wrist he stomped out of the room with the robot dragging behind him. The doors shut with a bang and he marched to a different part of the space ship. He'd put Lilo in the control dock where he would be able to keep an eye on her while he drove the ship, but since he didn't want to go back there he went instead to the boarding bay where Dib's ship would come in to dock. Zim wished the earth-stink would hurry up and get here so he could be destroyed. The Irken needed something to cheer him up after that nauseating discussion he had with the princess brat.

"You know what I think." GIR announced after awhile.

Zim didn't care what he thought if he could think at all… stupid robot! He just continued to drag him through the ship.

"I think," GIR continued when his master didn't say anything. "That you like Lilo."

Zim froze. "What did you say?"

"I said, I think you like Lilo."

Zim made a gasping retching sound that resembled something like a person sneezing out vomit. "What HORRIBLE ideas make you assume such HORRIBLE assumptions, GIR?"

"I saw an Angry Monkey show once—"

"That horrible monkey."

"And it was about attraction to the opposite gender. It said if you are angry at girls a lot, then your subconscious actually likes her."

Zim stared at him as if he'd just caught Dib moon walking across the hallway naked. "GIR, that makes no sense."

"I know."

"And in any case that Lilo thing is a FILTHY PRIMATIVE _HUMAN_!"

"But she's lots of fun and you're no fun at all." The voice of the computer boomed above them. "She completes you!"

"Computer, be quite!" Zim hissed and the computer answered with a frustrated groan with the order to shut up.

"There is no way in the whole universe that the all powerful ZIM would ever fall for one of those stinking, hairy jelly bags."

"But you liked Tak when you didn't know she was Irken."

"I was attracted to that girl because it allowed me to better understand human affections. Since she HATED me to begin with, it was a complete waste of my valuable time and efforts. And I knew she was Irken the whole time."

"So… you really haven't seen the better side of human affections." The computer interjected disregarding the order it had been given to be quiet. "So perhaps this is a second chance for you."

Zim groaned. He didn't want to be nice to Lilo and he sure didn't want to see her again so soon. What's more was that he definitely didn't want to be nice to her like he'd try to do with Tak. That one attempt was just a few millimeters behind a total disaster. Well… actually it _had_ been a total disaster, which nearly ended with Earth's destruction. And everyone already knew that unless Zim destroyed it himself, no one was laying a finger on _his_ planet.

Then again… Lilo was different from Tak. Annoying she may be, but at least she didn't douse him in barbeque sauce (which burned him nearly as bad as water did) or dump the garbage can on him, or sick a rabid dog on him. In fact Lilo seemed much nicer than Tak was; probably because she didn't have a nasty grudge against him—yet.

* * *

Lilo was bored. Now that GIR and Zim were no longer there and the computer system wasn't aloud to talk to her she was properly bored rigid. The shrinky-dink bottle of a prison was so small she couldn't even walk around or pace to pass the time. That left her with only one distraction. Song!

"Ninety-nine bottles of poi on the wall. Ninety-nine bottles of poi. Take one down, pass it around. Ninety-nine bottles of poi on the wall." It was literally the first thing to pop into her head and since it was a lot of numbers to go through, it would entertain her enough till she reached zero bottles of poi on the wall.

"Ninety-eight bottles of poi on the wall. Ninty-eight bottles of poi. Take one down pass it around. Ninety-eight bottles of poi. Ninety-seven bottles of poi on the wall. Ninety—"

"SILENCE!"

Her mouth shut when she saw Zim standing in the doorway, much like the way he'd been doing when she first saw him in person. "Well that was quick." She said smirking slightly. "I expected you to sulk for well over an hour before you finally came back. It's only been three minutes since you left."

"SILENCE!"

"You already sai—"

"SILENCE I SAY!"

She knelt, staring at him through the glass. Her expression reading clearly that she thought he was dually insane. GIR poked his head from behind his master looking up at him sheepishly. Funny, she hadn't noticed him before. Guess Zim was big enough to shield the small robot well enough from view. With eyes on Zim, the robot nodded towards her, a silent gesture to his master of something they had discussed out in the hall. Zim's eyes glared up at the ceiling and his face puckered as if he were preparing to eat some very disgusting food.

"Eh… listen, Lilo princess," his tone was dramatically calmer now as well as—Lilo wasn't sure if 'civil' was the right word—but there _was_ a note of sincerity in how he addressed her. "I now understand that our argument was petty and childish and it shouldn't matter what fruit would most likely win in a deathly battle of death. If you want to believe a strawberry would vanquish a cherry then I should not question your line of beliefs or the religion that would entitle you to trust in such faith. So… I just wanted…"

"Are… you trying to apologize?"

Zim looked as if he were trying vainly to work down the swallow of horrible food as her question hit him.

"Because you know that would be something… fairly unusual for you. As well as unnaturally decent."

He seemed to have lost the ability to speak for the moment and his head jerked up and down. It looked a bit like he was choking on something. It seemed like he would overheat and blow to pieces any second now. She didn't like the way he was reacting to this at all. It scared her.

"I agree that it was a petty argument to begin with." She said when she thought she could stand no more of the inward battle with himself. Her words had instant effects on him. He stopped convulsing and looked blankly at her. "As a maturing people we both shouldn't be arguing over something so childish."

"Yes! That's my view of the situation as well." Zim announced glad to have been saved from directly saying he was sorry. Perhaps it wasn't physically possible for Irken's to apologize. Somehow she couldn't imagine Zim ever saying those words together in the same sentence. "_We_ are much too old to be quarreling over insignificant drivel."

"Yes. Much too old." She agreed.

"Yes." He said a third time. "But a cherry would still win." He added irresistibly.

Lilo had to bight her tongue to keep from disagreeing. It looked like _she_ would have to be the mature one in this discussion. "Very well. If you want to believe that, you can. And I will still believe that a strawberry would win anyways."

Zim looked at her, uncertainty gleaming in his magenta eyes. "Eh. Um… well good."

"AND I THINK A STRAWBERRY WOULD WIN CUZ IT TASTES GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Gir screamed at the top of his lungs from behind Zim, who jumped suddenly.

He turned on the robot spitting with rage. "GIR! Do not scream at me with such a short space to separate us!"

"SORRY!" He announced, screaming again and causing the Irken to bend over to protect his sensitive antennae.

"GIR, listen to your master very carefully." He said with mock cheer once the robot had quit screeching. "I want you to go and watch the monitor for Dib. If you see any sign of a ship coming towards us, you can start screaming again. Until then SHUT UP!"

GIR looked at him with an unfathomable expression Lilo couldn't distinguish. His head tilted slowly to the side with a click, click, click of gears in his neck, till it was a perfect ninety-degree angle with his body. Then it snapped back up and he beamed at Zim saluting proudly. "Okey-dokey." He skipped away with the giant metal doors sliding closed behind him.

"What are you going to do to Dib?" Lilo inquired diverging his attention from the exiting servant. She was worried. Dib had relayed to her and Stitch a good deal of the adventures as well as the battles he'd had with the extraterrestrial fiend and none of them had been very pleasant. From bologna DNA mutations to solar system planet spaceships, their clashes had carried a frightful twist to them that disturbed Lilo to think what the Irken was really capable of doing.

Zim smiled with an unpleasantness that sent shivers running down her spine. "What indeed." He purred, relishing in the horrible plans he had for her new friend. "First I am going to freeze him with the new invention I've just invented. Then I'm gunna thaw him out in an oven. Then when he faints from heat stroke, I'm gunna strap him down to a table and give him the honor of being one of the first humans to be experimented on. I'll attach strange animal limbs like monkey tales and walrus flippers to his body in all the wrong places. And after that I'm gunna see what he looks like with his organs ON THE OUTSIDE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH—cough!"

"YOU EVIL NASTY LITTLE BEAST!" Lilo shouted over his disgusting laughter pressing her hands hard against the glass. She'd heard from Dib all the tales of their past fights and had no doubt whatsoever that Zim wouldn't even hesitate to do all the things he'd said he would. "You'll pay for this in the end, Zim. Your sort always does. And Dib's not that stupid to come here alone."

They were back to hating each other she realized irrelevantly. It was as though they'd never even apologized to one another.

"Wanna bet?" Zim said mischievously as if he knew some dark secret that would plan the fate of all their lives. "I know Dib very well, Lilo. He likes to play the hero when others are endangered. He likes the rush and feel of coming to rescue someone in distress. And I'm quite sure that, considering his interest in you, he won't hang back from the prospect of saving you."

Lilo shook her head at his words. "You're wrong, Zim. Dib knows his limitations unlike you, who think you're indestructible. He won't come here without at least having a backup plan of some sort. And you forget that Stitch is my best friend. No way would he ever let Dib rescue me without _him_." She said it with as much confidence as she could muster. Though, truthfully, she couldn't be quite sure. From what she'd learned from Dib, for the short time that she knew him, was that he definitely couldn't reframe from being the hero. His skepticism of aliens and of her own ohana had made him overly protective of his family as well as the strangers around him. From his point of view, if they weren't human, they weren't to be trusted. And she really couldn't blame him from the bad experience he'd had with this nasty little Irken in front of her.

"Say what you think, HUMAN!" Zim shot back with venom. "But I've known the Dib stink for much longer than you have and there's no denying his boldness that's for sure. Weather he comes here or not, it barely matters in the grand plan of everything. This is simply a personal battle between old foes. The greater war is yet to come and you are the base stone of the campaign."

Lilo didn't understand where he was going with all this. What could he possibly have planned for her? "What are you talking about? Is this because you think I'm royalty or something?"

"OF COURSE IT IS!" He said at the top of his lungs. "You're the final key I need to rule this FILTHY SPECK OF PLANETARY MUD!"

"And why am I so important?" She screamed back. "Quit beating around the bush already and just tell me what in store for me later on."

"I'm going to use you as my hostage to get the other 626 experiments to do what me and my leaders want. THEN WE WILL CONTROL WHOLE GALAXIES. And soon even the United Galactic Federation."

"What? I thought you were going to let me go once Dib got here."

"Are you that deluded?" Zim said turning his attention momentarily to a screen at the base of her imprisonment and pressing a few buttons on the touch screen. "Even if you weren't an important royal hostage I still wouldn't let you go. As a test subject for human experiments, you'd still be useful," he glanced up at her maliciously, "if only slightly."

Lilo was too stunned to react and for a moment she thought she would be sick. Was Zim really that twisted? Would he do something like that to her?

_Well if he did to Dib, I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem with doing it to me_. She realized quickly.

"So you're just going to keep me here? Pent up like some prisoner of war? _Forever_?" The word was like a physical weight on her tongue and her throat throbbed painfully as if it'd been a tack she'd coughed up with her sentence. The thought of never being able to run around in the hot sunshine, play in the ocean, climb trees, scrape her knees and elbows on hard dirt roads, or see any of the cousins ever again was nearly physically painful for her.

He looked at her. "No not here! I'm sending you to a prison on Irk. There you can be watched properly without getting in the way of _my_ plans."

"What right now?" She watched him as he pressed more buttons. _Was he planning to teleport her_? There was a lump in her throat. If she were sent to Irk the others would never be able to save her. All alliances with Irk were banned and not even the Galactic Federation would be able to help. As the ambassador of Earth, they would try to help her; no doubt about it they would try everything possible. But with the amount of firepower the Irken empire was capable of, it was probably a lost cause. She needed to stall him long enough for her rescuers to get here. "Can't you wait till Dib comes?" She was almost begging him.

"No."

"But he might not come at all. I mean, did he see me here with you in the message you sent him? For all you know he could think it's nothing but a ruse. He'll want to see I'm not hurt before he gives himself over."

That caught Zim's attention. He looked up at the ceiling mulling her words over. He tapped his claw tips to his chin in thought, speaking to himself as he did so. "Perhaps it _would_ be best to keep you here till Dib arrived." His lips turned up into a devious smile as he relayed the rest of his plan. "And at the last minute, I'll flip the teleportation switch. Then he can see you disappear right in front of his eyes when he is mere feet away from saving you. HEH HEH! THAT'LL SHOW HIM NOT TO TANGLE WITH ALL POWERFUL ZIM!"

Lilo wanted to shout at him and tell him what an evil little insect her was, but reframed in case he changed his mind. She was nearly on the verge of tears. _No_! She thought blinking them back. She wasn't going to cry in front of this psycho. There wasn't even any reason to cry. The others were _definitely_ coming to rescue her, so there was absolutely no reason for her to be afraid of anything.

A beeping from the largest monitor in the room began and a flashing purple dot appeared on the screen indicating the spaceship Dib was flying. At that moment a high piercing squeal sounded in the whole space station. GIR sailed through the heavy metal doors the next minute aimed strait for Zim.

"DIB'S HERE, MASTA! CAN WE HAVE THAT PARTY NOW?"

* * *

**Here's the next chapter. **

**I really hate running into a story I really like and the author hasn't updated it for seven months. Then I'm left with the feeling that the author died or something and that's why they aren't posting anymore. I'm really dedicated to this story though. So I'm not going to start anyother project till I've finished this one.**

**Cross my heart.**


	10. Chapter 10 Insults and Magic Tricks

Chapter 10  
Insults and Magic Tricks

Zim marched to the boarding bay, feeling a bit light on his feet. He was like an excited child on Christmas who'd peeked at his presents and already knew what he was getting was good. This was it. Finally after months and months of planning undercover and his enemy would be properly taken care of at last.

He'd contacted Dib on the monitor before he'd opened the doors to let him board.

The big head of the human stink had looked even more disfigured and bulbous on the big screen of his monitor. Zim smirked looking back at Lilo when they both saw that the rest of the _stolen_ Irken voot cruiser was empty of other occupants other than the one boy. The look on Lilo's face when she'd seen her only hope had come here without any help, was priceless.

The moment Dib laid eyes on Zim was the very moment he began cursing him. "ZIM! YOU FILTHY, SPOILED DIRTY ROTTEN PIECE OF COMPOSTED SPACE CESSPOOL TRASH! If YOU HURT LILO IN ANY WAY I'M GUNNA USE YOUR HEAD AS A BOWLING BALL AND YOUR INTEESTINES AS MY JUMPROPE! I'LL PINE YOU ON A GIANT PIECE OF CARDBORED LIKE SOME INSECT AND POST PICTURES OF YOU ALL OVER THE INTERNET! THEN EVERYONE WILL KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AT LAST!"

His words had nearly no effect on Zim. Ironically the insults had quite the opposite effect on the evil green alien. He enjoyed the taste of the boy's outrage.

"Hello, Dib. Nice to see you." Zim said tapping his fingers together dementedly. "BECAUSE IT WILL BE THE LAST TIME I SEE YOU! MWAHAHA!"

"Alright I'm here." The boy said a little more calmly but still angry. "Now show me that you haven't hurt Lilo or I'm not getting any closer to that hunk of evil space junk."

Sighing slightly, Zim stepped aside to let Dib gaze at the glass-imprisoned girl.

"Lilo, are you okay? Did he hurt you? You're not an emo are you?"

"No, I'm fine." She said forcing a cheerful smile for him. "GIR made me a snack a little while ago."

"He made you a snack?" Dib sounded surprised.

"Well Zim wasn't going to do it." She said matter-of-factly. "We had muffins, waffles, and coffee. It was great. GIR is so sweet."

"I loooooooove you!" Came a delightful squeaky voice that Zim knew as GIR. He seemed to be getting fairly attached to the Earth child. Zim wondered irrelevantly how the robot slave was going to react when he teleported Lilo to Irk. He'd probably bawl a bit, but once Zim shut him up with a lollypop, he'd forget all about his temporary playmate and go back to his regular programmed routine.

"Dib, you have to be careful. Zim's planning to freeze—,"

Zim slammed his hand on a controller and a thin spray of gas squirted in the container. Lilo stopped mid-sentence and fell backwards unconscious, as the sedative took its affect on her. There was a high growl on the other end of the screen then died suddenly as Zim turned back. Had Dib been the one to make that noise? The boy looked as if he would like nothing more that to douse Zim in a filled toilet bowl and give him a good filthy swirly.

"So sorry about that." He said brushing his heinous deed off as nothing to worry about. "Didn't want to ruin the surprise. You can dock at the Boarding Bay. I'll open the hatch for you."

And with that the screen went blank.

So now Zim was waiting with eager anticipation as Tak's old voot cruiser coasted neatly on the loading dock, its engines going silent. He waited in the shadows as the windshield opened and out stepped a scrawny human Dib, quite alone. He held a wimpy looking Federation plasma blaster. Ready to fire at the first thing that moved. Unfortunately the puny human couldn't even see him. Sim moved now blasting the boy with a freeze ray of his own invention. One minute the boy was as good as free and the next, Dib was trapped in a thick block of ice.

Zim chuckled coldly, stepping up to the giant block to see the eyes of his foe swivel back and forth from him to the weapon he held.

"Idiot!" He said though it was probable that Dib wouldn't be able to here him anyways through the thick layer of ice. The block had to be at the least three feet. "Did you honestly think it would be that easy, Dib-stink? I have you right where I want you and now I'm gunna torment you in the worst way I can think of. And I can think of many ways to torment you; _so many_!" He turned to the direction he'd come from and shouted to the computer system. "Computer, to the genetic lab! For horrible human experimentation!"

* * *

Lilo woke in much the same state as she had when she first found out she was being imprisoned in a glass pod by none other than Dib's old foe, Invader Zim. She couldn't have been asleep for more than a few minutes but even still it was hard to tell how long precisely in this constant unchanging room.

Zim was gone as well as GIR and she was all alone with no one to talk to. _Dib must've landed by now_. She thought silently, trying to distract herself. She began to worry if Zim was planning to remote control her teleportation. She had heard of people doing that sometimes but never experienced it herself. Gantu's ship hadn't allowed that and you had to do it from the controls if you wanted to send anything. Come to think of it Lilo had never been teleported before. There was that one time when she was _almost_ teleported, but she'd never experienced it first hand. She'd never even worked up the nerve or the sense to ask the other experiments what it was like.

Did it hurt getting one's molecules divided up and then reassembled billions of miles away? Was it different for experiments than it was for humans? Was that why they could handle it so well? How would a human handle teleportation if no one's ever tried it before? Or had they? Did Dib ever try it before he met her? Would she have all her pieces with her on the other end? What if she left something behind? Like her brain or her nose, or even a couple of fingers? Had that ever happened to anyone before?

She'd have to ask Jumba when she got out of here.

"If I ever get out." She whispered sadly to herself. "Wait, don't say that! Of course you're getting out? _My_ ohana _will_ save me." Even with her unwavering faith in them to come to her aid, she feared that they might be too late. If Zim teleported her via remote there was no telling how long it would be till she saw them again. Maybe even years.

Oh she hoped dearly that Dib hadn't come here alone like she'd seen on the monitor. Maybe they were just using a screening or something like that. Or they were hiding in large cupboards in the back. Or maybe they shrank themselves down to size with Jumba's shrink ray and were stowed safely in Dib's pocket, waiting for their chances when they could be free and save all of them. Or maybe…

"HOUDINI!" Lilo cried when the cute little rabbit experiment materialized directly in front of her container. He beamed at the little girl finding that she was thankfully unharmed. The rabbit blinked three more times bringing to vision a new friend and rescuee each time. "Sparky! Morpholomew! And…" she was bit surprised with the next one because she had the impression that Zim was already well in his second hour of pain and torture to the boy. "Dib?"

"Lilo." He pressed his hands up against the glass and Lilo covered them with hers.

_Wow_! She thought studying them with interest. They're hands were nearly equal proportions with one another. Dib's was just as tad bit wider than hers and Lilo's nails were much longer as well as cleaner. Other than that though, they were a perfect match.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine." She said smiling broadly, because now she was fine. She wasn't going anywhere thanks to her friends. "The gas just knocked me out a little. Couldn't have been very long."

"Only ten minutes since we saw you faint." He said stepping back to let Sparky work his magic.

Electricity fizzled out of his fingertips like spells for freedom and the next minute the container was opening up. She stepped out and threw her arms around her human friends first. He was a little taken aback by the gesture but gently returned her hug before she stepped away to embrace the others.

"Thank you so much for coming to get me, everyone." She looked back at Dib unease crept deeply into her brown eyes. "He wasn't going to let me go." She confirmed softly. "He thinks I'm some sort of a princess thanks to that talk we had a few days ago. He was going to use me as ransom to Jumba and the cousins."

"That's what we thought." Dib said handing Lilo a pair of infrared goggles. She looked at her friends and saw that they were all wearing a pair of them. No doubt they were using them to see one another so they wouldn't run into each other by accident. "Here, we've got to get out of her before Zim finds out you're not in your pod anymore."

"Wait!" She held him back a question gleaming in her brown eyes. "If you're here, then who does Zim have?"

* * *

**Next chapter. Here you go. Please review.**


	11. Chapter 11 Invader Troubles

Chapter 11  
Invader Annoyance

"Oooooo just wait till you feel my heat ray Dib. It's gunna hurt worse than a third degree sun burn." Zim squealed looking at Dib like a big bar of chocolate he was about to eat. Dib was strapped hands and feet down to a cold metal table without a pillow. There was no possible way that the scrawny human would ever be able to break the bands that held him tightly in place, yet the dummy struggled nonetheless. "You think you can break those bands. You're as stupid as you head is big and empty. You're gunna burn worse THAN MEATLOAF."

"Feeboogoo!" he hissed in an unnaturally wheezy voice.

_Strange, that's not Earth English._ That was Tantalog for, "Bring it on."

"What's wrong with your voice, Dib stink? It sounds like an infant with a stuffy nose."

For a moment it seemed like Dib growled… actually growled at Zim! Then he cleared his through and forced his voice in a deeper tone answering with, "Um… allergies. Ah… germs. Yes! Bad cough. (cough, cough, cough) very contagious. Yep!"

"WHAT! AND YOU BROUGHT IT ON MY SHIP? YOU STUPID SACK OF JELLY MEAT! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

"Sti—ah I mean—Dib was thinking he would give to Zim as friendship present."

"YOU INFESTED BALL OF FLEAS! WHY WOULD ZIM EVER WANT A FRIENDSHIP PRESENT FROM YOU?"

"Because…ah… it tastes good… with chocolate."

"FOOOOOOOOL!" He screamed at the very top of his lungs. He felt like a child that had just been given a very wonderful toy only to loose it over the edge of a bottomless ravine. "NOW I CAN'T ENJOY THE PROSPECT OF TORTURING YOU! I'LL HAVE TO DISINTEGRATE YOU QUICKLY BEFORE THE GERMS SPREAD AND INFECT ME AND MY COUPUTER SYSTEM WITH A DEADLY VIRUS!"

He flipped a switch and a ray gun the size of a hippo pointed strait at the boy's head, where the germs were gathered in swarms of billions. His finger hovered over the button that would send out a stream of fire hotter than the sun.

A beeper went off somewhere and Zim hesitated to see where it was coming from before realizing that it was from Dib's wrist communicator. Well whoever it was they would have to leave a message. He was about to blow Dib's head off… or at least make it exceptionally smaller.

The boy pulled hard and the cuffs binding Dib's wrists broke off, suddenly. Zim's mouth fell open and his hand froze as he watched the boy break free from the rest of his bindings. Zim could hardly believe his eyes.

When on earth had the boy gotten so strong?

"COMPUTER!" He shrieked in horror. "DESTROY THE HUMAN!"

"Scanner indicates that the boy is not human but Dr. Jumba Jookiba's experiment number 626."

"WHAT?" Zim screeched highly, "How's that possible?"

"Maybe he morphed his body to look like the human Dib." The computer suggested with detached interest in the whole situation. "How am I suppose to know?"

"You are a poor excuse for a computer. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME OF THIS BEFORE?"

"Sir," he moaned quite annoyed with his master's insistent jabber. "Do I need to remind you that I'm not programmed to do as you tell me without a _direct_ command? How am I supposed to do what you want if you don't tell me? I'm not a mind reader you know!"

"SILENCE! I will dig out your programming and replace it with the new upgraded system the Tallest use, later. That will show you."

"Sure, well while your at it 626 has escaped."

"WHAT!" Zim's head whipped to the torture table and found all the bonds in shambles and a gaping hole torn from the metal floor.

"I said," the computer repeated unnecessarily, "that 626 is escaping and i—"

"I ALREADY KNOW THAT YOU USELESS BRAIN OF GASS! He's probably going to go set free the girl!"

"The Earth girl is already out."

"WHAT! Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Again, need I remind you that I'm programmed specifically on dire—"

"DIRECT COMMANDS! I KNOW THAT! Where's GIR!"

"Scanning for GIR…" There was a low humming as the sound of the computer's scan could be heard over the speakers. It took an unbearably long time for the thing to finish before it announced, "he's in the kitchen. I think he's eating waffles. Yup I can smell them. They're good."

Zim's head fell backwards and he cursed in several alien languages before he shouted at his computer. "YOU AND THAT USELESS ROBOT ARE THE WORST ROBOT SLAVES IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING!"

"Hey guess what?" The computer said cheerfully.

"What?"

"The girl along with the other experiments and that Dib human are running to the boarding bay to escape in Dib's voot cruiser."

"WHAT!" Zim screeched for possibly the seventh time that day. "Put them on the monitor!" A large pop up appeared at once on his computer where he could see three other experiments as well as the two humans running quickly down a hallway that led away from the lab where he'd had Lilo well and imprisoned. His eyes zoned in on Dib and a growl rose in his throat with the hatred for the idiot human.

How could he have rescued Lilo like that? There wasn't even any room in that tiny cruiser for all those creatures. Zim didn't even see them in there.

"Computer, destroy the voot cruiser! They're NOT getting away this time."

There was a horrendous explosion that ricocheted through the whole station. It was the sound of a ship being destroyed by advanced laser guns. Zim looked at the screen and saw the people stop with looks of horror on there faces.

"What in the world was that?" Dib said to no one in particular.

Zim grabbed the loudspeaker and cackled heinously, letting his voice ring out through the whole ship. The creatures looked up to the ceiling in mute horror upon hearing the voice no one wanted to hear at the moment. "MWAHAHA! That was the sound of your ship exploding, Dib! Now you can't escape and soon enough my robots will come and recapture all of you."

Dib looked directly at the camera and smiled with his own secrecy. "Ha you won't be able to keep us here, Zim. We've got our own weapons too, you know." Turning he addressed a yellow experiment with long antennae and a blue nose similar to 626's. "Sparky, hack into the computer system and land this hunk of junk in the ocean near Kauai."

The little monster giggled once and flew into the electrical outlets, disappearing like some ghost virus. Zim heard his computer yelling something before it died out and all that could be heard was the creature's delighted laughter over the noise.

Zim felt the ship moving and rushed to the window to see the Earth growing closer to them. He gasped, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BLAST THESE SPARKS! BLAST THEM!"

"Ha ha! Now what Zim?" Dib gloated looking up at the camera with the rest of the others. Lilo waved up to him brightly. "You've lost control of the ship and you don't have Lilo imprisoned anymore for ransom."

"And we're all going to find you to beat you up now!" Lilo added beside him.

"GAH! I HATE YOU ALL!" He flipped a switch and spoke into the intercom leading to the kitchen alone. "GIR get up here! We need to destroy our enemies and I need you help."

"But I was making biscuits. I was making biscuits. I was making biscuits. I… was… making… biscuits. FLUFFY BISCUITS!"

"No, GIR! I've told you a hundred times to never mention biscuits again. NOW GET UP HERE!"

"Okey-dokey!"

Zim turned his attention to a closet stored with battle weapons and armor. He'd need something super powerful for apprehending the girl along with the valuable experiments. He couldn't' risk destroying them that was for sure. Dib, on the on the other hand, _might_ suffer some fatal laser wounds if Zim was lucky enough. Ha kill Dib and get the experiments. He'd be able to terminate double the Earth foul with a single rock as the saying goes.

* * *

**Another chapter. I hope you liked it. :)**


	12. Chapter 12 Shock Waves

Chapter 12  
Shock Waves

When Zim went silent again Dib took that cue to get moving again. "Okay if I know Zim, he's going to break out the advanced weaponry any second now. We'd better get our invisibility cloaks back on. Houdini, do you magic."

"Wait what about Stitch?" Lilo said worried about her friend who still had yet to find the rest of them.

"Aloha!" A body hopped down from above and another Dib stood before them. It was eerie for Dib to see such a perfect identical to himself. He still had nightmares about the time Zim had made a Robot twin of him and nearly used it to destroy his dad's energy machine which would in turn destroy the whole world. Then when his he got captured by his alien foe, Gaz hadn't come to rescue him like he thought she would. She always tended to bail on him like that; right when he needed her most, too.

The other Dib touched hands with the red blob creature, Morpholomew, and there was a moment where all the twin could do was bubble and shift. His body got smaller by about a full head and his skin turned blue fluffing up with a new grown coat of fur. His head got bigger, though not by much, and his mouth widened till it was halfway across his head with a full set of sharp, slightly yellow, teeth.

Stitch, newly transformed, stood directly in front of Lilo, his arms wide open, a cue for her to hug him. The two friends embraced, united once more as the duo that had captured and rehabilitated hundreds of genetic experiments. Somehow it just looked right for the two unlikely being to be a pair.

"Thank goodness you're okay." She murmured into his fur. "He didn't hurt you did he?

"Stitch indestructible." He announced with some difficulty in his wheezy voice. "Alien could never hurt Stitch even if tried."

"Well even still," Lilo said releasing him, "there were all those times when Hamstervielle tried to brainwash you to become evil."

"Yeah but he was pretending to be me," Dib said cutting in. They began walking again though uncertain where exactly they were headed now that their ship was destroyed. "And I doubt Zim would ever want to make me evil just so I'd be another rival for him."

"Actually, Dib, I don't think you could ever be evil even if you tried." Lilo told him walking beside him.

"Whew!" He breathed, wiping his brow in mock relief. "That's a good thing. I was beginning to worry."

They all chuckled at the joke. It helped ease the tension a little.

Sparky appeared in front of them, bolting out of an electrical circuit in an impressive torrent of sparks and jets of lightning. They stared at him for a moment in awe before his held out his hands and said proudly, "Navigation dizzzzzzabled. Headed for Ka-u-ai." Dib hadn't heard Sparky talk much and was reminded somewhat of the buzz of a bee.

"Great, Sparky." Lilo said petting him once on the head and receiving a surprising shock for the gesture. She looked up at the ceiling her grin faltering somewhat as if in worry for how sturdy the ship was entirely. "I sure hope the landing isn't too bumpy."

"We land iiiiiiin waaaaaater." Sparky announced easing her qualms. "Ship wiiiiiill not crash."

"Good."

"No worry, Lilo." Stitch patted her on her hand in comfort. "Alien space craft very durable. Nasty species… but smart."

He hated to admit it, but Dib had to agree. The space station was very well built, though he refused to believe it was any better than the bugby the Pelekai's owned. This craft centered mainly for the purpose of looking intimidating and awe inspiring like some giant insect ready to swallow it's victims without a word or warning. Whereas, the red ship back on earth was homier and meant to look sleek and speedy, like some flashy crimson sports car.

Thinking about it, Dib hoped he'd be able to see more replicas later on. Maybe someday he'd be able to have one of his very own… well at least a new one now that Tak's ship had been blown up. Maybe it'd even come with extra sized cup holders and heated seats.

* * *

Oooooo, he was so close to them he could almost smell them. And boy did they smell! Just like wet dog and silly putty. But soon the powerful Zim would have them all in his clutches once he'd deposited the experiments in proper imprisonments then he could deal with Dib appropriately. Maybe throw him in an escape pod without a windshield and blast him into outer space, then watch as his insides hardened till he resembled something like a person shaped sponge orbiting the earth like space trash.

Zim crawled silently in the air vents keeping his eyes on the intruders below. He wanted to ambush them the moment the opportunity was ripe enough. He'd fortified himself with his custom-made magenta battle armor. It was simple in design but still powerful and with a few adjustments of his own it was the ideal suit for missions such as these. He'd taken quite a few hits with this armor and it's proved its worth many times.

His strategy was to first stun 626 and the horrible yellow monster that'd shut down his interactive computer. Only when the most liable experiments were taken care of did he dare to face Dib head on. He only needed to surpri—AAAAAAAAAH!

The vent under him gave out unexpectedly and he was falling. So much for the surprise attack! Luckily he managed to land on something, though it wasn't exactly what one would call a very comfortable landing. For one thing, it had been Lilo he'd landed on. She had turned just as the air vent gave out and hit the ground on her back when he'd crumpled on her. Another thing was that their faces had collided when they met the ground and their lips crushed together with a surprising SMACK!

Out from the corner of his eye Zim saw Dib's jaw drop all the way to the floor as he stared at the two. It was as if he'd just watched a shark attack a baby dolphin then rip it in half.

* * *

Dib couldn't believe what he was seeing. His eyes were bigger than the rims of his glasses and it appeared that he'd lost control of his jaw as it dangled uselessly in utter horror.

Zim had sprung from the air vent, tackled Lilo, and now he was crouched over her… k… ki… KISSING HER!

The moment probably lasted years and years. No sound was made. No one moved. And no one spoke.

Dib couldn't process the tide of emotions turning in his gut. It made him feel like he'd eaten really bad sushi. Several feeling that were the most definite was shock, outrage, disbelief, disgust, horror and most definite of all… jealousy.

The thing that awoke Dib from the shock was… was Zim, still hunched over Lilo, and swiveling his eyes over to catch the look on Dib's face then smirking with delight at his expression. Dib let out a battle cry then tackled the green scumbag with the force of an entire college football team. All the others could do was watch in horror and hope not to interfere in the terrible battle before them.

* * *

From Stitch's point of view, he couldn't say that the clash of the two rivals was exactly a "battle." For one thing all the two seemed to be really doing was slapping and batting at one another like two little girls fighting over candy. Even still, this fight seemed somewhat personal, so Stitch was unsure whether or not he ought to break them up. He looked over at his cousins and caught similar expressions on their faces. None of them knew how to break such a dispute up. Nor did it appear like they wished to try. He looked back over and caught the look in the rivals' eyes. It was the same heated anger he and Gantu use to share all the time when they met on the field of a confrontation, and knew better than anything, this was definitely _not_ something to interfere with.

Out of loss of anything else to do, he walked to Lilo, making sure she hadn't been hurt when Zim had fallen on her. She sat up, tenderly rubbing her head where it'd smacked on the floor. She turned to frown at the obscene little boys before her.

_How childish_, her expression read clearly as she glared in disappointment. "Hey, guys." she tried vainly, hoping to calm them somewhat. It was no use. The human and the irken would stick it out till one or the other fell in utter defeat.

"What's (_ow_) your problem, Dib stink?" Zim hissed between smacks leaning his head far away to avoid Dib's hits while still trying to make his own.

"You (ouch) are (ow) my problem!" Dib shot back.

"Why don't you (ow) fight (ow) like a real grown (oof) worm man?"

"Like (ouch) you're (umph) one to (gah) talk! You're older than I am and (ugh) you hit like a (ow) nerd!"

"SILENCE!" Zim threw the boy from him and they faced each other like real mature rivals. Stitch watched with tension as Zim's guns focused on Dib. Maybe this fight would turn out to be interesting after all. "Taste my lasers, bald head of chicken." The cannons sparked to life and Dib, being the human he was, couldn't move fast enough to avoid them.

Looks like Stitch would have to interfere after all. He couldn't return the boy to his father with half his body disintegrated. Faster than the lasers could travel, Stitch jumped on Dib and they narrowly missed the heat blasts as they melted a perfectly round hole in the place where the boy's head had been not a moment too soon.

Zim sputtered in furry. "FILTHY, HORRID, MONSTER DOG! I SHOULD'VE CAPTURED AND IMPRISONED YOU WHEN YOU WERE LEFT UNCONCIOUS ON THE ROAD AND AT MY MERCY!"

"Well DUH!" Everyone shouted in unison. For as "intelligent" as this little irken was, it was mind-boggling to see how stupid he could be at the same time.

"SILENCE! I KILL YOU!" the little green man shrieked, firing an unyielding array of lasers at the boy and alien dog. Stitch grabbed Dib with his second pair of arms and crawled along the walls like an insect, as they avoided the onslaught shooting. Stitch looked to the other cousins for aid. Sparky was already fired a bolt of yellow electricity at the fiend.

Somehow, though, instead of weakening him as the blast should've done, his armor was protecting him. There was also a transparent rubber bubble that surrounded Zim's head, which Stitch hadn't noticed before. He guessed it must've been used like a helmet. It was nearly invisible except for when hit apparently. _Too bad Zim didn't have it up when he kissed Lilo_, Stitch thought. Least then Dib wouldn't have gotten so mad.

What was worse was that not only was the suit protecting him from the blasts of lighting shooting from the yellow cousin, but it seemed to be absorbing it like a battery charging up. Finally the cousin seemed to run out of juice and he sparked weakly with the drainage of energy.

Zim smiled in a very unpleasant way. "FOOL! You think that is enough to stop the powerful ZIM!" He wove the electricity into a great cracking ball holding it at the ready for a second attack. And this time it would blow a much bigger hole in the wall than his lasers had done. Stitch spotted the look on Sparky's face. Little shocks and volts weren't nearly enough to maim the little cousin, but from the hiss and sizzling of the orb of power, this was definitely going to hurt. Electricity to Sparky was like water to Lilo. Fun and gentle enough to swim and play in, though that didn't mean it wasn't still dangerous. Like a great tsunami of energy, this blast might even be strong enough to damage the creature permanently.

Stitch watched helplessly from above with Dib still dangled from his arms. Sparky couldn't even do so much as fly away. He'd used up all his power.

"Looks like you've run out of juice." Zim hissed dementedly. "Let me give you a little back." His arm drew back, prepared to throw it as if throwing a baseball. Stitch moved then. Tossing Dib onto a box shaped machine, he fell onto Zim, cutting off his aim and making him drop his ball of pure energy. The ball exploded into the wall, melting off a ten-foot hole in the foreign metal. A whirlwind of sound and air filled the hall as everyone gazed out at the setting sun on the horizon. The ship had come within the boundary of Earth's atmosphere but was still miles above to still be able to suck everything out. Stitch grabbed the floor to keep from rushing away. Everyone turned to grab something like Stitch had done. A bone-shaking scream filled the air around him and he turned just in time to see Lilo whip past him, like a leaf in a hurricane, and out the newly made window.

* * *

**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes they kiss! Zim and Lilo so kissed! I am evil and I love it! And Dib's reaction is hilarious! His crush's first kiss is with his mortal enemy and there's nothing anyone can do about it!**

"**Right before his eyes I will steal her first kiss. All for the sake… of revenge." A quote from Ouran High School Host Club episode 19 the Lobelia Academy Strikes Back. I had this idea of Zim and Lilo kissing inspired by this show. **


	13. Chapter 13 Ocean of Regret

**Chapter 13**  
**Ocean of Regret**

Dib saw Lilo zoom past him and out the window faster than any of them could react. It was ironic to think that they'd risked their lives to rescue Lilo only to have her fly to her death out an opened window. Thinking quickly, Dib let go of the bar he was holding onto and allowed the rush of air pull him away.

He called to Stitch as he was falling. "I'll get her. You take care of the irken." He didn't hear the blue creature answer, but he knew he'd heard him.

The deafening rush of wind filled his ears and they gave a little pop as he plummeted faster and faster. Lilo was just under him falling flat on her back and spinning out of control as she fell. Dib straitened his body to fall even faster, the same way superheroes did it to catch the dames as they fell from a skyscraper or out of a plane. She saw him and fear clouded her eyes. He reached her and wrapped his arms around her waist holding her tight.

"The gesture is appreciated, Dib." She yelled over the roar of wind, holding tightly to his shoulders. "But how are you going to save us now? You don't even have a para—"

She was cut off suddenly when Dib pulled a strap in his coat and they were jerked up unexpectedly. Lilo was nearly flung out of his arms with the suddenness and he needed both hands to keep her from falling again; and this time, to her real death. He used one hand to steer the parachute and the other to keep her from dropping from safety.

Lilo was flabbergasted by how he'd been able to produce a parachute out of nothing. "How in the world did you-"

"My dad has a lot of nifty inventions." He explained, cutting her off. "The portable parachute was one of them. I kinda borrowed it for a safety test. I was able to just fit it under my coat."

"Wow! That's smart."

He nodded.

When they realized they could breath easily again, they let out a relieved puff and focused on each other. It was then that Dib realized that this position made them very, _very_ close. Lilo must have realized this too because her face lit up in a bright blush and she looked away. Dib mirrored her expression, and looked away as well.

It was then that he realized an even bigger problem was under them.

"Lilo, I think it's time for a confession." He whimpered his eyes going big at the sight of the blue body under them. "I can't swim!"

She looked at him as if he'd just confessed he had a third eye in his ear. "You moved to one of the wettest places in the world and you don't know how to swim?"

"I know, I know!" He moaned exasperated. Why didn't he bother learning over the weekend when they weren't all in danger and he had time to take it slow and easy.

Lilo found she would have to give him the quickest lesson of his life and he'd better get it or he was doomed. "Okay, okay, don't panic. The trick is to stay very calm—,"

"Gah! There's no land anywhere!" Dib seemed to be far from calm at the moment. Lilo would have to help him a lot.

"Look," she had to keep his panic under control. "Just look at me okay. You need to stay very calm. Don't splash around a lot. I've seen that happen with new beginners and they waist their energy that way. Just mimic me okay. And if all else fails you just stay still and I'll pull you to shore myself. I'm a good swimmer so don't worry."

Her words were calm and reassuring so he relaxed a little, though not by much. It looked like a big blue mouth from above ready to swallow them up. The water stretched on in every direction and the closest land was miles away it seemed. The tide would take them farther out to sea before they even made it.

They were floating down closer and closer. He could hear the waves beat against each other like the roars of monsters.

_No, don't think of monsters right now_, he hissed inwardly as an image of a huge shark breaking the surface of the water and chomping them in half filled his mind. His hands shook, sweating heavily as they neared the water enough that the waves could wet their feet. Dib took a deep breath as they sunk, partly expecting some monster to come up and snatch them the minute they were out of the air.

Lilo spoke calmly, floating a little away from him but keeping her hand in his. "Don't panic. Everything's all right." But Dib certainly didn't feel like everything was all right. He felt like he would be swept under the current and drown any second. His breathing quickened and he splashed with the building panic in his chest. "Stay calm! Dib, you're not staying calm."

"I'm sorry. I can't help it I—," Water filled his mouth as something grabbed him on his coat and dragged him down. His hands clawed the air as he sputtered. "Something's got me. It's an octopus or a giant squid."

"The parachute!" Lilo cried tugging at the ropes attached to his back. "It's dragging you down! How do you untie it?"

"It's atta—,"his mouth filled with the tang of saltwater, cutting him off and dragging him further down in the ocean. Silver bubbles burst from his mouth and he tugged franticly at the cords on his back, trying to break free of the heavy material. _How ironic_, he thought in disturbing humor. The very thing that had saved his life from a fatal fall would merely cause his death and sink him to the very bottom of the ocean. He tugged harder wrenching precious air from his lungs and replacing it with fatal liquid. The world around him blurred as the vision of a mermaid filled his vision and the last thing he remembered were soft hands on his face.

* * *

Someone beat him mercilessly; hitting him over and over again, always aiming at his chest. His eyes flung open and he tried to breath. He doubled over and vomited salty seawater, coughing and sputtering like a child as someone rubbed him sympathetically on the back.

"It's alright. Just let it out." He crouched, heaving mouthful after horrible mouthful of disgusting fluids, and not all of it happened to be water.

Oh he felt like he was about to die. Every breath felt like he was breathing in thick hairballs. It was the worst thing that he'd ever experienced. How painful, he just wished it would be over already. He heaved again but this time there was nothing left for him to hurl up. Just a horribly, agonizing dry heave. Then another one and finally one more and that was that.

He lied, exhausted on the sand of the beach, breathing regularly and calmed at last. The hand on his back was still there; warm and tracing comforting circles as he recovered slowly.

"Shh. It's okay. You're just fine."

"Lilo?" he croaked, recognizing the voice.

"Uh huh. We need to get you up. It'll be dark soon and we have to start a signal fire." She slid her hands around his belly and hoisted him onto his feet. It surprised him to find how strong she was. She pulled his arm around her shoulder and half led half dragged him up the beach and away from the accursed water. She found a large hollowed out section in a rock and set him down.

"Take it easy for a minute, kay, Dib?" She said getting back to her feet. "I've gotta get some firewood. It's lucky that I know exactly were we are."

Dib nodded. What else could he do? He just sat there, watching the horizon and the slowly setting sun. He felt like he would've liked to doze a little, and closed his eyes for the briefest moment. Seconds later Lilo arrived, dumping an impressive amount of wood at his feet, and setting about on making their fire. After a while she looked at him.

"Would you care if I borrowed your glasses for a minute?"

That was weird. What would she need his glasses for? He removed them and began to hand the specks over. "I'll get them back right?"

"Certainly. I just need something to start the fire." She angled the glass with the sun and in no time a small string of gray smoke billowed from a growing flame. She added dry grass and blew on it carefully. When it was a sufficient size she added it to the larger pile of branches. The growing glow washed over Dib like a hot bath.

Man that felt good! He stretched his hands to it and sighed as his fingers regained circulation once more. Hawaii water wasn't cold but he'd lost enough energy from the near drowning experience to feel completely dead for a moment. He felt new strength return to him and shrugged his coat off to wring it out a bit. With the extent of water coming off it, one would think it absorbed a bathtub. He began with his clothes when he realized suddenly there was a girl around and—

"Hey where'd Lilo go?" The girl had vanished as quickly as she'd come back with the sticks. She was like a ninja. How could she ever be so subtle? He hadn't even noticed her leave.

He waited with taking off his clothes and decided to just wring them out while still attached to his body. After all, he didn't want to be taken off guard when she came back.

He'd only been waiting ten minutes before she appeared again. "Honey, I'm home." Came the teasing singsong voice of Lilo.

Dib turned to her and spotted the three fresh pineapple and two coconuts she bared. His stomach gave a ghostly wail at the sight and thought of food. After he'd tossed up everything he'd had to eat that day, he was starving. She dropped the sustenance next them and searched herself. It was then that she realized that the hula outfit she'd been kidnapped in didn't provide her with any pockets. Dib handed her a pocketknife he had in his coat.

"This what you looking for?"

She beamed at him. "Great! This perfect. Thanks a lot."

The first pineapple was cut up and eaten quickly though Lilo instructed Dib to go slowly, or else he'd get a stomachache. He was really hungry and found it difficult to slow down when he wanted to gorge himself. But he really didn't want to hurl again in front of Lilo so he took her advice and steadied himself.

She picked up the coconuts and drilled holes in them with the corkscrew of his pocketknife. She handed him one and told him to sip slowly. "We really should be drinking water." She said swigging down her own milk with less caution. "But supplies is limited here, so we'll just have to make do with what's provided."

"Speaking of which," Dib said studying the walls of rock surrounding them. "Where are we?"

"This is the Forbidden Island." Lilo said in a slightly spooky voice that gave the impression they were on haunted grounds. "This is the same place where we caught Splodyhead."

_Now which one was that again?_ "You mean the red experiment that lights the fires at the luau where David works?"

"Yup."

"Wow." He looked back up at the cavern, appreciating them more for the intriguing history they held. "Now what's the story on that one?"

Lilo smiled, going into detail the amount of struggle it went into catching the one experiment. Dib loved listening to the excitement of her voice, and found she was a natural storyteller. "Gantu had the experiment strapped to his back. I could hardly believe he would take the two jet boats and leave us all stranded here. But before he had the chance, Stitch jumped him with his own plasma gun. It was then that I told him he wouldn't get off this rock unless he gave us Splodyhead as payment. Seeing he wasn't getting off with the experiment either way, he reluctantly handed him over. Since the jet boats were too small to bear him and the rest of us, he spent the duration of the trip strapped to a hook while being tugged along like a water skier. The only problem with that was the fact that he wouldn't straiten his legs like you would normally do, and as such he was whacked over and over again on the surface of the waves, which are like brick walls by the force he was hitting them."

"So one true place for Splodyhead was at the luau." Dib finished for her.

"Yup."

"Man that's cool." He said staring up at the stars. "I would've thought he'd only be good as a flame thrower."

"See, that's what I'm talking about." Lilo said looking at him. "You can't think like a mad scientist would think when finding where they would fit in best. I wanted to help people when I was finding the one place they all truly belonged. Where the real demand for them was. And where they would least likely be used as firepower for negative solutions. Also I didn't want them to end up in the wrong hands."

Dib thought about this for a moment and realized the insight of it all. "When I think about where the experiments are concerned, I think about what the government could use them for. Like for catching criminals and using them for the military; stuff like that. But I think I see where those things could go wrong. People, especially adults, seem to be the ones to neglect power the most."

"That's what the grand council woman must've been thinking when she appointed a little girl and an ex-evil alien experiment to catch them all. Sometimes the only wisdom can be achieved through the eyes of a child."

"Well, that is true I guess." They went silent, mulling over the words that had been spoken. Lilo shivered slightly as a breeze filled the cave. Dib looked and noticed just then how revealing her hula costume really was. What had once been something dazzling had become a mess of tangled grass, sodden flowers, and broken shells. She was missing both her ankle bands and half of one of the wristbands. The skirt, especially, had worsened as they were falling from the ship, along with when they were in the ocean. The only things that seemed to be really intact were her jewelry and white strapless shirt which was still trying to dry.

She really wasn't dressed properly for a night like this. So, feeling only a bit embarrassed, Dib bluntly handed her his coat. Even though it was still pretty damp, he hoped it would be enough to keep her warm. She smiled at such a gentlemanly gesture and accepted it. She thanked him and swung it over her shoulders, snuggling in and trying to receive the warmth as best she could.

The stars twinkled above them. Night had fallen fast and the glittering sky seemed to make them feel even smaller than they already felt.

"Hmm. Pretty night." Lilo said after a while. Dib nodded, lost in his own thoughts of what the day had brought. Lilo kept talking though. "My mom use to make all these funny constellations when we went sky watching. Where's that stinky bag of garbage again?"

Dib turned to her, taken aback a little. "The what?" He asked, chuckling slightly.

"The stinky bag of garbage." She repeated, looking deeper into the sky, "Now I'm pretty sure it was… Aha! There it is, right next to the Sour Milky Way," she pointed at a constellation that was suppose to be Orion. "And there's Moldy Cheese Man and south of that is the old lady with the Chihuahua on her head!" She giggled lightly and Dib joined her.

"Lilo?"

"Yeah?"

"Whatever happened to your parents? I mean why do you live with your sister and not them?"

Lilo was silent for a moment and Dib feared he had trended over forbidden ground. He could hear the mournful pain in her voice as she looked away. "It was rainy and they went for a drive. I was five."

She didn't need to explain any more. Dib understood all too well the scars of car crashes. His own aunt had died in one when he was ten.

"What about yours?" She said after a moment of silence. "I mean. Where's your mom? I've never met her before."

Dib suddenly wished he hadn't asked her about her parents. He should've expected her to ask that after he'd pried at her about her own family. It brought up painful memories to think back so long ago.

Lilo seemed to have taken his silence as a bad sign. "I'm sorry. Is it too emotional to think about?"

_Why did she have to apologize so easily?_

"No. Course not. It's just…" he trailed off looking into the past. Truthfully he hadn't really thought about his mother for years it felt like. He groped at his memory, trying to find her face. It was dusty from disuse. "I can hardly remember her. I haven't thought about it since…" he sighed. And before he knew it, Dib was spilling his greatest secret to the girl beside him. "I guess you could say she was the whole reason I became obsessed with paranormal research. I think I must've been close to five or four when she… _disappeared_. The way I remember it, she was always busy with us. She just loved being a mom it seemed. Dad was around a lot more back then. Shocking, I know with how dedicated he is with his work and all." He closed his eyes, cocking his head to the side as if he would remember better that way somehow. Visions of a woman with purple hair like his sister's, only longer, filled his memory. Her face was blurry, but he was sure it was beautiful. "It was early morning. Gaz was still sleeping. I wanted to watch some cartoons before breakfast so I snuck into the living room. There was a light on in the kitchen so I went to investigate. Mom stood in the doorway of the kitchen, a blinding white light illuminating her outline. I thought it was the sunrise for a moment but it was too bright. She turned to me when I asked he what was happening and I'll never forget her last words to me."

Her voice seemed to fill his memory and he was surprised to know how clear it was even though he'd forgotten her face. "We aren't alone, Dib."

"And just like that she was gone!" He blurted, shocked by how much the memory hurt him. Bitterness saturated his voice and it felt like he would cry for a moment. "The flash of light filled the room and she was gone. Dad said she just left. He didn't want to hear anything about alien abductions. But when I tried to ask him why she would leave all her things and her kids, he wouldn't listen. It was then that my dad really started getting _serious_ with his work." It hadn't bothered him before when they lived in Detroit, but now Dib realized that his father had neglected them. "He left us with his face on a TV screen and a recording of his voice. And that was that."

Lilo seemed to look at him with a new pair of eyes. Now it all made sense. His paranoia of anyone different than humans. His desire to protect the people around him. And most importantly, his reserved resentment towards aliens.

"You didn't happen to… see the things that took her did you." Lilo was almost afraid to ask, fearing she already knew the answer.

"No." He confessed, reassuring her worries. "There was nothing. All this time she's been lost up there. I don't even know if she's still alive."

New found pity for him filled her. It was so sad; worse than what she'd been left with. Least she _knew_ her parents were in heaven, watching over her and her sister. And even after they'd gone, the Pelekais had gradually found new family to fill the holes that had been broken. It was the precise opposite from what Dib had been left with, which was worse. In some ways, he'd lost both his parents that day. He didn't even know if his mother still knew she had children. For all anyone knew, she could've been brainwashed or used for human experiments or was being held captive as a slave.

She fought a strong desire to wrap her arms around him. It was a weak attempt and she failed when she embraced him. He just looked like he needed a hug.

Her nearness caught him off guard for a moment. Hesitantly, his hands found their way around her back in a timid return.

Her voice was soft in his ear. "Dib, we're going to find her. I'm going to find her for you."

He released her, a new desperate look glinting in his eyes. "You'd do that for me?"

"Most definitely. When I tell the Grand Council Woman about this, she'll lend us all sorts of help so we can find who took your mom. They'll have records from all the bounty hunters, slave traders, and off planet kidnappings. It shouldn't be too hard to find a missing human since the only known Earthling space trooper is me."

Dib's eyes sparkled and he embraced her once more. "Thank you so much. I'm sorry if I had any bad thoughts about the alien side of your family."

"No worries. It's cool if it means you'll stop trying to spy on us." He released her, looking at her with a guilty expression. "And you only have to ask if you want to use some of our equipment. Quit skulking around in the back all the time."

"Y—you saw me?"

"Stitch has really good senses," she answered scooted a bit away from him so she would have room to stretch her legs. "He said you breath too hard and have a pretty distinguishing smell. Sort of like bologna scented soap."

Dib groaned slightly. Even after two years, that bologna incident with Zim still hadn't seemed to wear off. They were like that for three whole weeks before the effects of Zim's stupid prank began to loose their potency. It had been painful trying to regress to his old self once again. For Zim it was even more agonizing, which cheered Dib a bit since it was his fault for getting them into that position in the first place.

He was woken from his thoughts when he caught Lilo absently touching her lips as if mulling over something. Even in the dim firelight he saw the growing red in her cheeks. He could almost see the thought bubble over her head. Replaying what they'd been through that day, no doubt.

"Please tell me it was horrible." He blurted irresistibly. She looked at him, surprised he would ask such a question. "I mean… was it weird at all. Don't tell me you actually liked pressing faces with that jerk."

"That's sort of a personal question to ask, don't you think?"

"Come on." He said unable to take the suspense. It'd been almost damaging to realize Zim had kidnapped the girl Dib liked and then kiss her right in front of him along with Stitch. "I'm mean was it any good?"

Lilo was beside herself with how nosy he was being and resolved to tell him so. "That's really none of your business, Dib."

Dib went silent, afraid that he'd angered her enough where she would feel less towards him now. Her reluctance to tell him anything had made him assume the worst. Since she wouldn't outright tell him it had been the most disgusting experience of her life, Dib assumed Lilo had liked kissing Zim after all. The image of his arch nemesis leaning over his crush and kissing her passionately filled his vision. His stomach gave an unholy turn, and he resisted the desire to throw up again.

Lilo saw the look on his face. To ease his worries, she decided to confess… a little. "If you must know, Dib," she exasperated, "it wasn't good or bad. I mean it didn't feel like we were doing much at all. It just felt like we were bumping lips. Nothing more."

The tension building in Dib eased a bit. She hadn't liked kissing Zim after all, but she hadn't _disliked_ it either. He hated the note of that "_but_." She might not have flat out stated that she'd enjoyed it, but there was still room for the worst to happen. Dib wondered if Zim would make another attempt to capture her again. If that happened what else could he do to her? His stomach gave another lurch and he felt that he would really throw up this time.

Lilo noticed the green hue on his face. "Hey are you okay? You look like you're about to barf again."

"Uhhhh!"

"Want me to get you some coconut milk?" The idea of coconuts seemed to hit his stomach and he shuddered with unease when his mouth began watering as if readying itself. Lilo caught his look and understood. "Okay, why don't you just lie down and try to get some sleep. You'll feel better after you nap."

He obeyed settling in the most comfortable position he could find on the hard stone. He felt his stomach settle a little. He watched Lilo as she tightened his jacket around herself, bracing against another chilly breeze. He closed his eyes sincerely hoping she wouldn't think less of him after this was all over.

* * *

**What can I say? Not much humor in this chapter. I have no idea what happened to Dib's real mom so I pretty much just guessed on everything. I felt that his issues with aliens in general could somehow be linked to how he doesn't have a mom in the TV series, thus adding to his dislike towards all extraterrestrials.**

**Since there was a bit of Zim and Lilo action in the last chapter, I felt that Dib needed some affection now. The whole scene where they talk about their parents is a special boding moment that I was planning the whole time. The kiss accident was sort of spur of the moment that was pretty much inspired by nightmaster000. His question was more or less:**

**_"Will Zim and Dib start fighting over Lilo in further chapters?" _**

**I hadn't intended to make this a Zim/Lilo and Dib/Lilo story, but I got to thinking, you know, what if? It could happen. Plus it would be kinda cute to see the two rivals fighting like that. Course Zim will just do it to get under Dib's skin at first. But you never know...  
**

**A special thanks to everyone who commented on my story. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo happy you like it! XD **

**GIR DANCE!  
**


	14. Chapter 14 Big Dummies

Chapter 14  
Big Dummies

"Dib, wake up." Someone shook his softly on the shoulder. His eyes peeled opened and saw the sparkling sky on the horizon. It was still nighttime. He reached for his glasses and saw Lilo leaning over him. "Sorry to wake you up."

"What time is it?" He yawned, reaching for his glasses. "I feel like I just dozed off."

"It's around two in the morning I think."

Lilo wouldn't be disturbing him this late at night unless something was wrong. "What is it?"

"I saw some lights in the distance. I think it's a rescue boat."

They both jumped to their feet at the same time. Dib grabbed a protruding stick from the fire and used it as a torch as they ran down to the beach. They jumped up and down, waving their arms and yelling at the top of their lungs. Dib swung the flaming branch back and forth like a beacon to the mysterious lights, hoping beyond hope that they would spot it. They shone right in the children's direction and sped closer.

"Yes they've seen us!" Lilo yelled punching the air with a fist. Dib cheered with her.

The sound of humming filled the night air and wind whipped their hair as the giant shape of a space ship landed on the beach a few yards from them. With the limited amount of light, Dib assumed it was Jumba's bugby at first that had come for them. As they neared it though the torch reveled its dark purple paint job. Stranger still was that this ship much smaller than what they had parked outside of their house. Probably used as a passenger cruiser for short distances.

There was a hiss as the wind shield of the craft popped opened and the driver's voice could be heard calling out to them from above.

"Lilo! Is that you?"

Lilo's voice was thrilled when she spoke, but it was the name that caught Dib completely off guard. "Gantu! You're here!"

Gantu! You mean the big dummy? Dib wanted to say but decided not when he realized the alien was speaking again.

"What is the Ambassador of Earth doing on this forsaken island?"

Dib's head snapped around. "AMBASSADOR?"

"Oh didn't I tell you?" She said, smiling slightly and tightening his coat around her shoulders. "The Grand Council Woman made me the ambassador of Earth after we rescuer and rehabilitated all the cousins."

Dib couldn't do anything but sputter for a moment. _Why on earth hadn't she told him this before_? "Don't you think that little piece of information would've been good to know?"

Gantu continued as if the boy wasn't there. "I've come to answer and important meeting request with Jumba. He said it was urgent. What are you doing on this rock?" He suddenly seemed to notice Dib for the first time and his voice filled with suspicion. "Who is that scrawny Earth boy with you?"

"Be nice. This is my friend Dib."

Dib heard an ominous groaning coming from the ship as the occupant descended from above. Large footsteps muffled in the sand as the alien came closer to them. Dib found himself craning his neck to look into the face of the largest, buffest being he'd ever encountered. He felt like an insect next to his bulk, as if all the creature had to do was lift a foot and squash him easily in the sand. What was even more uncomfortable was the accusing glare the wale-like thing pinned on him. Every molecule of his posture, from his unsporting look to his fists on hips, seemed to shout out, "What were you, an teenaged boy, doing _alone_ with this little girl on this deserted island."

He would've very much liked to have said, _absolutely nothing_, but didn't seem to have the nerve for it.

Lilo spoke right then. "We've had a bit of a bad run-in with an Irken invader. I'll explain everything on the way home if you'd give us a lift."

His posture relaxed a bit as he looked at the state they were in, "Sure. You can ride in the front." He looked back at Dib and a mocking disappointed look crowded his face. "Oh but look, there's only one extra seat. Looks like you'll have to ride in the backity-back." And before Dib realized what had happened, he'd been cast into a container pod exactly like the ones Lilo and Stitch used to capture experiments.

"Hey!" He howled pounding on the glass with his fists. "Let me out, you big dummy!"

The giant's lips formed into quick words but nothing was heard from Dib's side. Apparently the glass was soundproof, so despite how loud he shouted and complained about his imprisonment, no one would hear him. The giant attached him to a hook on the very rear of the ship. Wow! He was really hung out in the open in this thing. Now he understood just how Lilo had felt when she was stuck in this thing when she first met Stitch. He hated being cooped up in this smooth bottle. It made him feel like he was on display.

He met eyes with Lilo, who stood on the ground below him. He was pretty far up in this thing, he realized. She gave him a sympathetic look and shook her head with her palms out in a soundless apology. Dib nodded, understanding that there was nothing they could do about it at the moment. He didn't feel comfortable about leaving her alone in the presence of another alien but, he really had little choice on the matter.

The two beings disappeared from his view and he settled in the transparent prison. If he had his coat he could use the laser pen in his pocket to cut open a hole and he'd be out. Unfortunately Lilo was still using it to cover herself and it was too late to ask for it back—not that he would ask for it back anyways because she still needed it to stay warm.

He felt too tired to escape anyways. He just… wanted to… sleep….

* * *

Lilo seated herself in the small chair beside Gantu's. He turned the heat up and she warmed at once. Gosh that felt nice. She didn't even realize how cold she'd gotten till the auxiliary was turned up. It made her feel bad though, to think Dib was stuck in the tiny container pod. He was probably cold, not to mention uncomfortable.

She glared at Gantu as they were flying away. He caught her gaze and looked away as if he didn't know what she was scowling at him for.

"You know, you really shouldn't have treated him like that." She said, warming up before she really began her lecture.

"Treated who like what?"

"Don't play innocent with me!" She said, shaking a disappointed finger at him. "There's plenty of room in this cockpit for Dib, and you had to go and shove him in the back like a criminal."

"Look, Lilo," he said in what sounded like to her as a fatherly sort of tone. "It was just because I didn't feel right about you being alone on a forbidden island with a strange looking teenage boy."

She could hardly believe he was daring to go there with her. "Nothing happened! And it's not like we ran away together. We were stranded."

"Yes but even still, I remember when I was at that age and well I was very attracted to girls and…"

"Gantu, you're two entirely different species. You don't know if he's like that." It wasn't entirely true. She was certain Gantu was no far different from the emotions of a regular human male. And she wasn't completely oblivious of what went on in the heads of boys her own age these days, though she acted as if she was.

"Yes I know. But, Lilo, you do know that it takes both a mommy and a daddy to make a baby, right? And sometime boys will react strangely and may even—"

"OH SWEET PAPYA!" She cried swinging her arms over her head in horror, hoping it would block out his voice that way. "PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO HAVE A "HOW BABIES ARE MADE" TALK WITH ME!"

He seemed to be a little embarrassed about the truth to the words. Somehow, it really seemed like he did not want to have this conversation at all, but felt it was his duty to inform her of the dangers that went with boys and girls.

"Oh! I suppose you already know then." He sounded a bit relieved that he'd been freed from that responsibility.

"Not exactly." Lilo said removing her hands from her ears. "Nani said she would explain everything to me on my next birthday. So if you were hoping to give me that long speech, just forget it, cause to be honest with you, I'd much rather hear the facts of life from a much closer family member."

Gantu's face seemed to be slightly thoughtful for a moment, and then settled into relief at being alleviated of the responsibility. "Well so long as you hear it from someone." Lilo was thankful when he changed the subject. "So tell me why you were stranded there."

And before she knew it, she was launching into a detailed description of what had acured over the past week since Dib had moved to Kauai from the incident with Zim's kidnapping (course she left out the part with Zim falling on top of her and kissing her in front of everyone).

"An Irken invader?" Gantu said with suppressed disgust as if he were talking about parasites. "That's bad. If their military has sent an invader to Earth that could only mean their planning to add it to their empire."

"I know! But it's worse than that. Zim said he was going to use me to get all the experiments to do what he wanted by threatening me."

"That is one way they tend to deal with their enemies. Lilo, Irkens are the lowest scum of the universe. If they've found out about the experiments, they'll stoop to any level to get them for themselves."

"But it won't be much use to them since all the cousins are good now."

"They'll find a way. Even if they've got to dig till they reach the other end of the planet they'll get it somehow."

Lilo gasped realizing a horrible possibility. "What if they find out about Angel? They could kidnap her next, and get her to sing her song that turns all the experiments bad."

"That could be a possibility. If I were you I'd make sure every experiment is paired with a buddy capable of fighting if need be. Some of them can be pretty harmless." He said thinking of a few choice ones that were less powerful than others, and were merely good for just being cute.

"If creatures from another galaxy are coming to take the cousins, I'll make sure they're well protected at all times." The little girl puffed out her chest to demonstrate her determination. Nothing was getting past her and that was that. Gantu smiled a bit.

For as young as she was, Lilo had always shown a spark of passion for whatever she did that he never could understand. She loved whatever she did and she did it the best she could. Gantu had been employed by Hamsterviel back when he was still trying to capture all the experiments, and he knew that if he didn't get his check every week, he would've quit a long time ago. But Lilo had done it with Stitch for absolutely nothing. It was her passion and she loved it. Too bad he couldn't share her enthusiasm then maybe things would've turned out differently. In all honesty he was very happy it didn't. Gantu was more than grateful he was back to being a United Galactic captain again. He loved it more than anything else, so there was something he enjoyed after all.

They zoomed through the air, passing soundlessly over Dib's house and landing softly in the Pelekai's back yard, right next to the red space ship.

Lights turned on in the house the moment the engine shut off. The door flung opened and Nani ran out, followed close behind Pleakley, Jumba, Stitch, and the other cousins. Lilo was scooped up by her big sister, the moment she was out of the cockpit.

"Thank goodness you're back." Nani said nearly crushing the little teenager in a deathly grip. Pleakley joined her and the rest of her family bombarded her in a tight suffocating group hug.

Everyone began shouting out their concerns all at once. "Are you hurt?" "You're not an emo are you?" "You've still got only two ears." "He didn't try anything with you did he?"

"Relax!" Lilo cried shoving them away a bit so she had room to breath. "I'm perfectly fine. And… Nani, what happened to your arm?" She pointed at the cast covering the older girl's left arm.

"Oh, this is nothing." Nani answered shaking her arm easily. "Just a few measly battle wounds."

"Little girl," Jumba cried looking relieved to see her unharmed and just the way she was when they last saw her. "You are safe and sound. I am most happy you are still in one piece, with nothing extra fused to your head or back."

"Of course I'm okay, thanks to Dib…" She trailed off looking around for the boy who'd saved her life. He was gone. She looked up at Gantu, who'd already released him from his imprisonment from the pod container. She saw Gantu and the empty capsule, but where was Dib? She craned her neck around and spotted him slowly walking away.

The moment he was free of the glass prison, Dib had spotted Lilo being welcomed home by her family. He'd watched her sister cry and hug her, then with the aliens coming up behind them and embracing one another. They'd shown both the humans the kind of family affection he'd never experienced before.

For a moment all he could do was gawk at the crowd, and what was probably the weirdest family he'd seen in his life. But also the closest. A pang of envy hit him. Envy for what Lilo had with people would weren't even from the same solar system as her, and for what he didn't have with his own biological family.

Would things have been different if his mother had stayed?

He couldn't look at them anymore. So he turned away, hoping he could escape without being seen. He was discovered just as he was rounding the corner of Gantu's ship. The hand that caught him wasn't Lilo's as he'd assumed at first. It was Nani's. She looked down at him with such thanks that he'd never seen the like of before. Then she pulled him close, embracing him like a little brother.

"Thank you so much for bringing her back to us, Dib. We were very lucky when you moved next door to us."

Dib was silent. He couldn't say anything in response to such a statement. No one had ever thanked him for anything… DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE'D SAVED THE WORLD FROM DESTRUCTION MULTPLE TIMES!

"Uh… yeah." He said pushing away a bit. It was a bit strange for him to be held so many times in only a few hours. "No problem. I'm just happy I could help."

"Come by whenever you want." Nani chirped stepping back to give him room. "Don't be such a stranger here."

"Ih." Stitch sided, coming up behind the older sister. "You ohana now."

Dib just stared, looking from one alien to another. The phrase seemed to have more weight to it coming from the little blue guy, than if it had come for one of the two humans. If these completely different beings could accept Dib, who was nerdy, paranoid, skeptical, suspicious, pushy, sneaky, awkward, and just plain weird, what else was there that could dumbfound him more than this?

A strange yet pleasant heat crept into his chest. "Thanks. I'd better get home, my dad will get worried." He knew the man wouldn't really but he needed an excuse to escape the eyes that were all locked on him. They waved goodbye to him and he sauntered away waving back over his shoulder.

He walked slowly looking up at the stars.

"Ohana." He tested the word out delicately. "What a weird way to describe family. Nice though." He decided with a small nod. Wind ruffled his spiked hair and he soaked it in. Lilo still had his coat, and yet he was uncommonly warm without it. _Well there's Hawaii for you_. He could get it back in the morning if he needed…

…Or maybe he wouldn't. It _was_ really warm here after all. Maybe it would just be easier to put it up for a while. He reached the front door of his house. Someone had put a metal bridge over the hole and he feared someone had already fallen into it. The door swung open and he caught the sight of his sister sitting on the couch viewing the TV with unbreakable interest. Her head turned just barely to the side to glance at him.

"Where have you been?"

Dib walked passed her, refusing to meet her gaze. "You don't care." He answered tersely.

She raised a bewildered eyebrow at him. It was strange of him to not burst out in a detailed reliving of the adventures he'd been in that day. For a moment all Gaz could do was gaze, then she shrugged and turned back to her show. She didn't fully disagree with this new development. "You know something, you're right. I don't."

"Is Dad back from work?"

"Yeah. He's in the lab." Dib walked over to the door of the basement. Gaz called a warning over her shoulder. "I think he's working on something to do with combustion, so he doesn't want us to disturb him."

He ignored her and opened the door anyways.

His father was hunched over a computer screen, typing insanely. Dib's footsteps echoed on the walls and his father looked up at him.

"Son! Cant' you see I'm in the middle of dangerous science! Very temperamental if you get anything wrong." He turned back to the screen calculating the properties once more.

Dib almost couldn't believe it. He'd lived with this man for thirteen years and it was a wonder this never bothered him before. The man hadn't even realized his son was missing.

"Since you're down here, could you hand me the ratchet?" Dib found the tool and held it aloft. His father held his hand out for it, but instead of handing it over, Dib drew it back and smashed it hard into the computer monitor. Sparks and broken glass rained from the computer like a fountain. Dr. Membrane was shocked beyond anything. No doubt this was the last thing he'd ever expected his son to do. The man didn't have a chance to collect himself, for the next moment Dib was grabbing him by the collar of his lab coat and shouting in his face.

"I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR THREE DAYS!" He yelled shaking the man roughly. "Did you once even stop your work to look around and say to yourself, "Hey where's that son of mine that I never see these days?" Did you know that I nearly died? DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOUR STUPID WORK?"

He didn't give the man a chance to answer. Dib let go instantly and walked out the door without another glance behind him. He reached the top of the stairs and found his sister staring speechlessly at him. He ignored her and walked the stairs to his room. He threw some clothes and his toothbrush in a bag without looking at them and zipped it up in a flurry. It took him probably less than a minute before he was walking through the living room and out the door. He didn't spare another glance at his sister but felt her eyes on him as he left.

He looked to the blue beach house and wondered silently if anyone would still be awake. It was after all, only a little past two a.m. Still he walked the steps and knocked timidly on the chipped red door. It was answered, after a pause, by Nani, dressed in pajamas and a bathrobe. She looked down at Dib, a bit taken aback by the sight of him at such a late hour

"Could I spend the night?" He asked, unable to meet her eyes.

She hesitated, unsure if she ought to. No doubt she suspected trouble concerning family. Then she silently stepped to the side and invited him in.

Like he'd predicted everyone was already asleep. The woman set up a bed for him on the couch then left to go to her own room. He lied there, staring into the darkness. Dib couldn't believe he was staying the night in a house filled mostly with aliens. He thought of Nani and Lilo sleeping peacefully in beds of their own somewhere in the house and for some crazy reason, he felt completely safe.

* * *

**Poor Dib! His family is weird.**

**More bonding moments. I guess this is the turn when Dib is finally accepted as an official member of Stitch and Lilo's ohana. **

**Thank you everyone who have been reviewing. Sorry to say that the end is near but if you really want me to I will do a sequal... actually even if you didn't want me to, I'd still do a sequal. **


	15. Epilogue At Dawn

Epiloge  
At Dawn

Dib walked with Lilo and Stitch down the stairs of the beach house, his cheeks still burning from that morning. Oh how he'd been scarred like never before!

He'd woken early that morning to the smell of something good. He'd had bacon and waffles before at his house, but three legged aliens never made them. He'd gone to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth before breakfast, but unfortunately it was already being occupied.

"Probably the most upsetting thing that's ever happened to me." he admitted to the girl and the alien as they walked away from her house.

"Seeing my sister naked coming out of the shower?"

"That too…" he said shuddering and trying to do his best to block out all memory of such an image, "but realizing I can scream like a girl."

He'd shut the door with a bang. Saying over and over to the woman when she came out how sorry he was and that he _honestly_ didn't know she was in there. On the inside though, he was shouting at her to, _lock the freaking door next time!_

That afternoon they'd gathered on the beach next to her house along with the rest of the 626 experiments as well as Gantu for a special performance. Nani and Pleakley had worked nonstop that morning, in hopes that they would somehow be able to reconstruct the hula costume that had been ruined when Lilo had been kidnapped. It was just as pretty as the one she'd made herself.

She walked out on a platform, illuminated by torches on the sand. Dib thought she really looked like a princess adorned with the tropical flower crown, wrist and ankle bands, grass skirt, and seashell pearl jewelry. The musicians began and she danced a mixture of hula and sign language.

_If I die young bury me in satin_  
_Lay me down on a bed of roses_  
_Sink me in the river at dawn_  
_Send me away with the words of a love song_

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and  
Life aint always what you think it ought to be, no  
Aint even grey but she buries her baby_

_The sharp knife of a short life, well  
I've had just enough time_

He face was perfectly content as she swayed gracefully back and forth to the peaceful tune. Nothing in the world could ruin this for her. She didn't even look nervous up there as far a Dib could tell. She was among ohana after all. It didn't matter to them if she messed up. She would always be the best to them.

She finished her dance and the entire crowd erupted into aplause. She bowed multiple times and thanked the crowed over and over again.

Sometime after the cousins and Gantu had all left Dib, Lilo, and Stitch stole a few precious hours walking down the beach, just taking the time to review what had happened that day and the one before.

They found out that morning from Stitch, that Zim had escaped last night. When he and the cousins were trying not to get sucked out the gaping hole, the Irken had borded an extra voot cruiser and got away with his robot minion.

He detonated a time bomb on the space craft and it was a miracle enough that'd they'd all gotten away before it blew up. Thankfully the ship was hovered just over Kauai so Stitch had grabbed both Houdini and Morpholomew and leapt out the window with Sparky following in a jet of yellow lightning. Stitch had calculated his landing perfectly to fall safely in a hay pile on a cattle ranch just outside of Kokaua Town. The Space ship had crashed in the ocean thankfully and no one was hurt though it had made a pretty impressive wave that flooded half the beaches in the area.

On another note Gantu had contacted the Grand Council Woman about the possible Irken threat and she, in turn, contacted the Tallest. She explained to them that the planet they'd sent their so-called invader to, was a protected wildlife preserve. As addition according to the Galactic Federation and an Irken treaty signed approximately two hundred Earth years ago, the kidnapping of the ambassador of a planet was an act of war that could not go unanswered.

Surprisingly, the two leaders denied ever having sent an invader to Earth, reporting that the planet they'd assigned him to was unmarked, thus they couldn't have known it was protected. They also claimed that they had not supported or gave permission for their invader's actions to kidnap anyone nor did they seem to know about any genetic experiments.

"It was a close call," Lilo told Dib. "If they'd declared war over, Earth, we'd all be in serious trouble. The United Galactic Federation would have to send battle ships and armies and solders and weapons to our aid. Not to mention the whole secret about aliens would be out to the world."

"But that might not be such a bad thing." Dib said. "Least then you and your family wouldn't have to hide. People would have to believe now and they'd know I wasn't lying. And who knows, Pleakley might actually start wearing man clothes now."

Lilo shook her head ignoring the joke he'd made. "But that's just the problem, Dib. I don't think people are ready _to_ believe. I know you don't want to hear it, but people are safe in their own ignorance. The thought that they aren't alone in the universe, that there are greater minds and superior species to them, is scary. I mean, look how far behind Earth is compared to some of the alien technology we've seen. We've still got centuries before we make the kinds of breakthroughs other planets have fulfilled."

"Maybe we aren't." He argued. "After all we have my dad and your uncle. With those two minds at work, we could be reaching the stars in less than ten years. After all, you've been up there yourself. You've seen Turo and driven spaceships and handled super weapons before. Plus, your our planet's own native ambassador. You don't call that a step? We've gone farther in seven years than we have in the last fifty. Changes are coming, Lilo. Things we have no control over. Irkens will try again to get this place. Zim's still out there and he's waiting; gathering more power and biding his time till he can strike again. Face it we're caught in the crossfire of a not-too-distant war. What's better; to remain safe in our own ignorance? Or start preparing ourselves for the future?"

Lilo was caught there. How could she argue with such insight? Dib was right. Things were changing, and she couldn't stop it no matter how much she wished she could.

"If battle is coming." Stitch announced with a bit of difficulty, rising to his two feet. "Stitch will fight. Cousins will fight. Earth is not our birthplace. It is our home." He stood before the two humans. His chest puffed a bit, a bold warning to all enemies that he would _not_ be taken down easily. He was neither human nor native to the planet, but it was, as he said, his home.

It gave Dib some comfort to know he would go into battle with the creature by his side. _No, not "creature,"_ he corrected himself. _Ohana_.

The three stood silently, watching out at the horizon at the setting sun and knew beyond a reasonable doubt that they would risk life and limb to protect their home but mostly to protect their family.

**THE END… **  
**FOR THE MOMENT**

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**Yup that's the end of this story but I'm planning on writing more if you all want. After all Zim's not quite finished yet!**

**Song "If I die Young" By the Band Perry.**

**If you all liked this one then check out the sequel on my profile entitled "The Joker Menace." The story takes place within Gotham City and yes they will meet Bruce Wayne, the Joker, and the whole batclan. Should be lots of fun.  
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**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews and support everyone. **


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